• core values
    Communication,  connection,  family,  Marriage

    Five Important Core Values in Marriage

    When my husband and I first sat down to construct our core values, we struggled a bit. Our ideas about what made a marriage really great differed somewhat. My core values were more emotionally derived while his were more concrete and very detailed. In the end, we had around eleven, but of those, five have proven to be a source of real satisfaction in our relationship. In order to really hone a core values list, you and your spouse have to take some time to figure out what is really important to you. It is really easy to fall into the trap of just writing a list of what you…

  • anniversary trauma
    Christmas,  emotional health,  emotions,  healing,  Healthy Discipline,  Trauma

    Anniversary Trauma: 5 Strategies to Overcome It

    Five Ways to Overcome Anniversary Trauma It’s funny how anniversary trauma sneaks up on a person. November 30 marked the one year anniversary of the earthquake in Eagle River, Alaska. I am currently recovering from a car accident, so while on the table with my massage therapist, I found myself extremely tense. There is a difference between muscle spasms due to injury and muscles that are clenched from tension. I had plenty of the first, but this time I had tension all over my body. I knew that my lower back had been particularly painful, but this day, the therapist couldn’t go anywhere near it. All of a sudden, it…

  • denial
    denial,  emotional health,  False Refuges

    Denial: Four Ways It Destroys You and Your Family

    Firstly, let me say that I am a past master of denial. One cannot stay in an abusive marriage for as long as I did and not have expertise in the exercise of denial. But often, we misunderstand what exactly is being denied when we talk about this subject. Often, it isn’t the situation that we are unable to face, but our feelings about the situation. I could admit that my husband was abusive. What I couldn’t admit to was the fear, agony, anger, and helplessness I felt within an abusive marriage. And so I convinced myself I was just making the best of a bad situation. When we consider…