• manipulation
    Communication

    Five Predatory Forms of Manipulation to Cut Out of Your Life

    Most of us are guilty of manipulation at times. We all want to have our own way and sometimes communicating our desires requires a skill set which we have not yet acquired. Or perhaps we have learned manipulation in our childhoods from parents who learned it from their parents. Manipulation in any form is an illegitimate way of getting what we want. Manipulation, at its ugly heart, is dishonest. The good news is that normal, well-intentioned people respond well to both honesty and genuine attempts at communication. After all, the main goal of real communication is to reach understanding, if not agree with another person. Learning to ask for what…

  • love
    family,  love

    Six Signs that You Love with Intention

    I am always amused by titles like this one until I dive into the topic. Learning to love well takes a lifetime of dedication to the art. Most posts on the topic of love have a long to-do list. And while I agree that love does indeed manifest as action, those lists don’t prove generally helpful to me. After all, my husband and each of my children are so different that what looks like love to one feels unloving to another. Neither am I here to recount the five love languages, as helpful as they can be. I think that to love well, basic guidelines read more like emotional maturity…

  • Controlling Behaviors

    Five Controlling Behaviors You Should Learn to Spot

    We all know people who exhibit controlling behaviors. In fact, when you mention control freaks in a group, it often elicits groans. Stories of crazy exes and former bosses start to come out. It turns afternoon special quickly. But they often exhibit controlling behaviors in everyday communication. Manipulation seems to come easier to some than others. Knowing how to spot it in yourself and others helps us self-correct. If we understand behavior, we can develop a strategy to prevent it. If we spot one in ourselves, we can stop and enter a relationship with more authenticity. If we learn to see it in others, we are less likely to be…