• divorcing
    abuse,  Adversity,  dissociation,  Narcissism,  narcissist,  narcissistic abuse,  narcissists

    Divorce and Your Abuser: Taking the Long Road Home

    Divorce is not the short cut society pretends it is.  I am a person who likes to be efficient with my energy so I am always looking for life hacks. But God, despite my preferences, has led me the long way round over and over.  I am currently reading through the Bible through the eyes of John Wesley, truly an exercise in taking the long way. But reading through Exodus 13, I finally understood why it was that my routes through life appear so circuitous. The Hebrews are preparing themselves for an escape from slavery. They make their preparations and sacrifices. And Jehovah leads them in a puzzling direction.                …

  • abused woman
    abuse,  Codependent Behavior,  Controlling Behaviors,  narcissistic abuse

    Your Abusive Spouse: When to Leave

    Leave your abusive spouse now.  Before anyone protests the sanctity of the marriage vow, let me say that I don’t take this answer lightly. And let me qualify the term, abusive spouse. Most people are occasionally emotionally ‘abusive’. These days that term is loosely bandied about and it can be difficult to ferret out what one or another individual means by it. Ironically, many abusers accuse their spouses of abusive behavior in an attempt to deflect their own wrongdoing. So let’s be clear by what this term really entails. Many people shut down, withdraw, lose their temper, and sulk. As humans, we are sometimes passive-aggressive, over-step a boundary, or let…

  • step family
    Step Family

    Step Family Stumbling Blocks: What to Expect

    I get a lot of Brady Bunch jokes when I tell people that my husband and I have a ‘blended’ family of six kids. Four daughters of mine from my first marriage and a son and a daughter from my husband’s previous marriage meant that I had three kids in high school for six consecutive years. We married over thirteen years ago, bringing together our children with stars in our eyes and high hopes in our hearts. We wanted to rock step family life. Was it worth it? Absolutely. Was it easy? Absolutely not. But if I had been aware of a few salient facts, I think the process might…