Communication
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Five Important Core Values in Marriage
When my husband and I first sat down to construct our core values, we struggled a bit. Our ideas about what made a marriage really great differed somewhat. My core values were more emotionally derived while his were more concrete and very detailed. In the end, we had around eleven, but of those, five have proven to be a source of real satisfaction in our relationship. In order to really hone a core values list, you and your spouse have to take some time to figure out what is really important to you. It is really easy to fall into the trap of just writing a list of what you…
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Conflict: Four Common Misconceptions
I remember attending a seminar about conflict about a dozen years ago. The speaker made the point that conflict in and of itself isn’t good or bad. It is merely an event that must be dealt with. I don’t know if I fully agree with that. Conflict feels pretty awful much of the time, at least to an empathetic person like me who wants everyone to hold hands and sing Kum bah Yah. Another speaker on the same topic held up a dollar bill in the middle of the room. He made the point that each side of the room saw a totally different side of the same thing. Neither…
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Five Predatory Forms of Manipulation to Cut Out of Your Life
Most of us are guilty of manipulation at times. We all want to have our own way and sometimes communicating our desires requires a skill set which we have not yet acquired. Or perhaps we have learned manipulation in our childhoods from parents who learned it from their parents. Manipulation in any form is an illegitimate way of getting what we want. Manipulation, at its ugly heart, is dishonest. The good news is that normal, well-intentioned people respond well to both honesty and genuine attempts at communication. After all, the main goal of real communication is to reach understanding, if not agree with another person. Learning to ask for what…
