family
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Six Toxic Responses to Boundaries
Toxic people dislike boundaries the way my cats hate a closed door. They figure it is their right to come and go as they please. The ripped up carpet and scratches on my door attest to their utter determination to have their way. The cats, that is. Toxic people usually damage far more than just a rug and a couple of doors. I suppose learning how to erect healthy boundaries always includes a learning curve. I, for one, did not anticipate the ruthlessness and perseverance with which toxic people attempt to discredit, tear down, and generally disrespect boundaries. But I have learned to spot the usual toxic strategies. I can’t…
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Five Important Core Values in Marriage
When my husband and I first sat down to construct our core values, we struggled a bit. Our ideas about what made a marriage really great differed somewhat. My core values were more emotionally derived while his were more concrete and very detailed. In the end, we had around eleven, but of those, five have proven to be a source of real satisfaction in our relationship. In order to really hone a core values list, you and your spouse have to take some time to figure out what is really important to you. It is really easy to fall into the trap of just writing a list of what you…
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How to Protect Your Family’s Honor
The idea of family honor is pretty old-fashioned, and in its older forms, even harmful. Family honor in the past consisted of creating a family mask that presented one face to the world while hiding dysfunctions within. But cultivating a culture of honor, real honor is actually crucial for creating a lasting marriage and familial relationships that are fulfilling. Family honor is not about the face presented to the world. Real honor is how well the members of a family treat each other. Honor is the act of valuing a person over things. When someone honks their horn at you rudely in traffic, or cuts in front of you in…
