narcissistic abuse
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How to Forgive Your Narcissistic Abuser
This post on how to forgive a narcissistic abuser is twenty years in the making. If you are looking for an easy answer to an incredibly difficult and complex issue, this is not a post for you. Emotional abuse leaves physical wounds. Because it doesn’t leave physical scars, people assume that we are well, when in fact, we are not. It can take decades to really discover the depth of the loss and injury, as well. If you have suffered intimate terrorism, rest assured that this post is not a lecture on how you must forgive because otherwise, God will not forgive you. That always strikes me as a threat.…
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Financial Abuse and the Narcissist: 15 Tell Tale Signs
I didn’t know that financial abuse existed for the first several years of my marriage. I knew, of course, that the absolute hold that my ex had over our money wasn’t right. Not until I confronted a poster about domestic violence in a public restroom in Big Bear, CA, did I realize that a name, financial abuse, existed for my agony and bondage. No one really discusses the long term effects of narcissistic financial abuse. Just when we think we are recovered, another little well of pain opens up for us to explore and drain. For me, money is one of those deeper wells. After my divorce, I found myself…
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Loyalty vs Casting Pearls before Narcissists
A reader recently asked a question about the line between healthy loyalty and codependency. I didn’t have an immediate answer so I took some time to really think about it. I looked up the definition of loyalty and it surprised me a little. The first word listed is devotion. The next words are more familiar; faithfulness, allegiance, support. Those rang truer to me until I began to remember my relationship with my narcissistic ex-husband. A turning point in my heart came when I heard a preacher say We worship what we fear. The words messed with me because I was trying to follow Jesus. I considered myself as worshiping only…
