narcissistic abuse
-
Five Ways Narcissists Use Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive dissonance occurs when we hold conflicting beliefs at the same time. The results of trying to balance two competing beliefs in one’s mind are often confusion, shame, guilt, and second-guessing one’s self. Cognitive dissonance can cause physical damage as well as it is stressful both mentally and physically. A lowered immune system, raised blood pressure, as well as a host of other symptoms can afflict the sufferer. Life and circumstances often cause some cognitive dissonance. For instance, we know that a particular purchase is not within our budget. We really want this purchase and so we argue with ourselves, employing a lot of rationalization. If we give in, we…
-
Five Things I Want Say to Victims of Narcissists
I receive emails almost daily from victims of narcissistic abuse. Each of these victims sounds just like me twenty years ago. My heart aches for each of them because I know what they have ahead of them: the fight of their lives. Time and time again, the victims question themselves, afraid to face the brutal truth. How can it be true that the person you married does not love you and even more, has become your worst enemy? I remember Danny Silk once saying at a conference that if your loved ones don’t know you love them, you don’t. That quote struck me hard. He was talking, of course, about…
-
Gaslighting 101: Eight Signs You’re a Victim
Gaslighting was a way of life for me while I was married to my narcissistic ex-husband. I just didn’t know it. Later, as I became aware of the various techniques of gaslighting, I realized that I had been a gullible victim of this technique. Perhaps I shouldn’t say gullible. The truth is that many victims of narcissistic abuse don’t discern what is happening because their own hearts are not evil. People have a tendency to perceive reality through the lens of their own motivations. If their motivations are pure, it rarely occurs them that others have wicked intent. I frequently get emails from victims of narcissistic abuse. Often, I try…
