Validation
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How to Model Emotional Intimacy for Your Children
Emotional intimacy is a term usually reserved for couples. In reality, emotional intimacy is a skill that we learn by observing our parents and by practicing with close friends as we mature. Many parents are careful to withhold any conflicts or even affection from each other in front of their kids. I suppose the reasoning is that somehow children should be insulated from the adult world, free from its worries and problems. To some extent, I agree. After all, children should not be asked to carry the heavy baggage of adulthood. The baggage of childhood is heavy enough. I never understood why we romanticize childhood. It has its own agonies.…
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Validation: How to Love Well
Validation is the little-recognized glue than creates and mends relationships. After all, we live in our own selves all day, every day. Understanding someone else’s journey takes effort, in part because clearing the decks of our own experiences is so challenging. But the rewards of validation are great. Validation builds trust, opens previously clogged channels of communication, and creates relationship between the most unlikely pairs. The primary myth about validation is that by affirming someone else, you are signing off on their beliefs. Validation means selling out your position for the sake of peace and a couple of feel-good moments. Not true. Affirmation of a person is not ratifying their…
