How God Healed 1 Narcissist in the Bible
I often get asked if God can heal a narcissist. My answer is sometimes hard for people to accept. When I say that narcissists don’t change, I mean it. The pushback I often get is that all things are possible with God, even a narcissist being healed. So in this post, I want to qualify my answer about whether narcissists change and what God can or will do about it.
But before we talk about anyone being healed, I first have to define a few things. Narcissistic behavior differs from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. We all have had times where we blame others for that which we ourselves are responsible for. We all struggle with pride and getting our own way. And mental illnesses such as addiction and depression have a way of emphasizing that narcissism. Our miseries clog our perception of reality with endless pictures of ourselves. Everyone has been overly self-absorbed.
Some consider Paul to be narcissistic before his Damascus conversion. I doubt it because he was so zealous for God, yet so misguided. I am sure he had narcissistic tendencies like all of us, but I don’t think he had a personality disorder. Surely, he lacked empathy, but unlike Nebuchadnezzar, many other signs seem unknowable in his case.
But Narcissistic Personality Disorder is another matter altogether.
Here is a brief list of common symptoms:
Low levels of empathy
High levels of insecurity
An inflated sense of self-importance
A sense of entitlement
A tendency to exaggerate
Arrogance and boastfulness
Prone to belittling others
An expectation of special treatment, followed by an angry reaction if it’s not received
According to the vast majority of psychologists, a narcissistic personality disorder is not curable but treatable. The fundamental problem in treating it is that those with narcissistic personality disorder are unwilling to acknowledge any perceived weakness.
And, thus, rarely seek treatment on their own. Read here for more.
I have read journal after scientific journal, and the recurrent theme is that no one has successfully documented a person with true NPD being cured. I have looked high and low. No one has successfully cured a psychopath, either. So if you find evidence, please send it my way.
Except there is one documented case of a narcissist being healed.
Now he didn’t seek treatment, but he underwent a divine intervention. Nebuchadnezzar certainly checked all the boxes above. He is the one who, outraged by Shadrack, Meshack, and Abednego’s refusal to bend the knee to the golden monstrosity of a god he made, sent them into the fiery furnace. Lack of empathy, check. The murderous rage is pretty problematic. Might push him into a whole other section of the Cluster B list.
As for arrogance, this is what he said after God warned him he was going to humble the king:
Is not this great Babylon, that I have built for the house of the kingdom by the might of my power, and for the honor of my majesty? Daniel 4:30
Certainly, one can sense the enormous grandiosity of his statement. To build a kingdom to honor one’s own majesty is to tempt God. Nebuchadnezzar became convinced of his invincibility. Narcissism barely covers it.
But God. The two words that can change everything. God forces the wayward king to change by giving him the treatment he needs to become a real person again. Nebuchadnezzar has to live outside with the beasts, eating grass, and God takes from him for seven years. Think about it this way. God healed a narcissist by making him live in the lowliest conditions for seven years. If that is what it took for the Babylonian king to see reason, then we need to ask ourselves whether it is likely that the narcissists in our lives will be healed given the treatments available through modern methods.
God’s intervention worked, of course. Nebuchadnezzar, after his time is up, says,
34 At the end of the days I, Nebuchadnezzar, lifted up my eyes to heaven, and my understanding returned to me, and I blessed the Most High, and I praised and honored him who lives forever;
for his dominion is an everlasting dominion,
and his kingdom from generation to generation.
35 All the inhabitants of the earth are reputed as nothing;
and he does according to his will in the army of heaven,
and among the inhabitants of the earth;
and no one can stop his hand,
or ask him, “What are you doing?”
36 At the same time my understanding returned to me; and for the glory of my kingdom, my majesty and brightness returned to me. My counselors and my lords sought me; and I was established in my kingdom, and excellent greatness was added to me. 37 Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and extol and honor the King of heaven; for all his works are truth, and his ways justice; and those who walk in pride he is able to abase.
Daniel 5:34-37
God seems to force the king’s hand in this. I don’t know how often this happens. One issue with this story is that God overcomes the free will of Nebuchadnezzar. He rarely does that, I have noticed. Perhaps that is why so few narcissists change. They will not use their free will to enter the intense humbling that being healed would require.
Though perhaps that is not the complete story. God removes just enough of the king’s capacity to function and gives him enough time to surrender his will, which is perhaps more accurate. At any rate, a lesson is here. If it takes God seven years of all-encompassing treatment to bring a narcissist to his knees, should we wonder if the narcissists in our lives do not change merely at our request?
I admit that I had a bit of a laugh at God suddenly reducing all the narcissists into cow-like creatures. But as one psychologist put it, narcissists have no tolerance for shame. If one confronts the enormous well of shame underneath the grandiosity, the result is often suicide. Ironically, narcissists are the weakest among us.
But that God healed a narcissist as flagrant as a Babylonian king is hopeful as much as it is a warning. In the words of Nebuchadnezzar, those that walk in pride, He is able to abase. I know the day is coming when every knee shall bow, and every tongue confesses His lordship. I imagine that will be harder for some than for others.
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59 Comments
susanhomeschooling
“I will admit that I had a bit of a laugh at the idea of God suddenly reducing all the narcissists into cow-like creatures.” I love that idea! God has the last say, and He does abase the proud. But then I ponder with soberness of spirit whether I have any undealt-with pride, and I ask God’s forgiveness and ask Him for humility, because we are all but dust, and we tend to think of ourselves differently than how God thinks of us.
Michelle
I have had a very difficult journey with a spouse with narcissistic behaviour. The saddest of all is that he is a Pastor. He has bible bashed my children and I to enforce his authority and the the need for us to submit to him. I ended up fleeing the house. He is manipulative and no one will believe me if I had to speak ill of him which I never did as I tried to be the virtuous wife of Poverbs 31. I was also told that the unfortunate fact is that he will never change.
Cynthia Murray
I had the same experience as Michelle! The ABUSIVE speech, misusing Scripture texts, and shaming were our daily life with my husband. The goal of every tactic and manipulation was “to kill and destroy” our joyful and loving souls.
I DO NOT know how it happened!!! But my daughter in her late thirties “has become her father.” CONNECTEDNESS and communication are impossible NOW with her,too.
I THOUGHT I started with a close, loving family….I loved and nurtured the children every day! Now in my sixties, other than my son’s texts for babysitting….I am alone, and faced with the REALITY of what you drew forth in this article. I will, for instance, never have my ex-husband, daughter, and son together with me for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner.. My ex-husband and daughter are severely toxic with NPD. ON this earth they are not capable of CONNECTEDNESS, love, or empathy. I will never hear words of apology, and self-responsibility…..from their lips.
My chief method of healing and comfort is the acceptance of the truth of their NPD, and my truth of trusting God for my one life.
On one level, because of the vows I MADE back on a day in May, 1980, I feel I am married. Adding in the truth that my ex LIED AND DECEIVED even at the church ceremony DOES set me free to acknowledge MY freedom, truly, in Christ alone. He is good, and He will lead me___
Çağan Mert Sarıtaş
Your ex-husband is a false Christian and an evil sinner who should go to Hell.
Peggy
I am seeing this very consistent pattern of all the lonely survivors and have lost family and community and we have come to know we are whole in Christ but we are not to be alone and lonely here and how do we build ourselves community again and just to have another one say , me to , I understand.😢🙏🥰
Anonymous
Hello, I wanted to copy this, How God Healed a narcissist in the Old Testament, but the print out is very, very, small. It is not readable. How else can I copy this. Thank You!
Anonymous
May God heal Liz.
Laura
I am still married to a “christian” narc he attempted to go to school for Christian studies who knows with that intent every time I asked he would stay quiet, went through the same thing as Michelle has to flee my home and move to a whole different state and still tries to call me and refuses to divorce says in Gods eyes we are stuck together, he sent flying monkeys to talk on his behalf he has no limits I have tried several times to get away from him I even sent him jailed and restraining order now he says that he forgives him as if I had done him wrong 😑 these people are out of their mind they are demons
Alice Mills
Yes. They do not get better. The point of my article is to show how impossible it is to cure one. Imagine if God turned all the narcs into cows for seven years. Not only is it unlikely, but it means the narcs in our lives will rarely if ever, improve. I wish you the best in freeing yourself from him. I am so sorry you had to go through that. God wants us to live in peace, not fear.
Eve
Hello, it’s a great article but the verses you quoted in Daniel are from chapter 4 and not 5. Thank you!
Jennifer
This is a great post! Having been married to one for 12 years, I found that most often they use God as a way to point out others failures and make themselves seem righteous. So, I really had not thought of the change in Nebuchadnezzar. What a great source of hope!
Daniel Garcia
After reading the article and its comments, it seems to me that a narcissistic christian could potentially cause more harm to those around him/her compared to a narcissistic nonbeliever. Grant it, both still present the same danger and issues to others; however, the behavior of a narcissist plus the religious beliefs and behavior of Christianity, can really destroy a family or even a congregation—of course only if we allow it though. It’s like if you believe in God as the heavenly authority, but of course you learn and seek more of God through your earthly authorities (pastors, ministry leaders, and teachers),“appointed by God”, in order to believe more in God. I know those appointed by God/have a calling isn’t our only way of believing more in God but in a sense, yes. Going to church is like our school and pastors are like our teachers. We can learn and believe on our own, perfectly well and possible, but at the end day we go to them because they are the “appointed and called” and therefore the people we look up to in general. This is especially true when you make the church building as your only source of being fed. This is why someone of that authority and of that narcissistic behavior can be someone of great harm; from the fear of the Lord, to your conscience convictions, to disobedience, to shame; believing in God and looking up to a narcissist in authority, could be detrimental to your mental and social health—which I refer back to the experience of others in the comments. If we believe God to be the ultimate authority and look up to someone who professes the faith, than we can easily be soak into and therefore easily controlled.
However, we have the will and opportunity to not go through that. we must be wise and guard our hearts. Specifically, have discernment and understanding of what is being fed to us by “the appointed” or anyone with such authority/influence. We have the opportunity to change and flee while the narcissist only intends to stay and stay the same.
Influence is power, and when you add faith and/or religion to that, you either get something really good or really bad.
Ann Engfer
Thank you for sharing your victory Stephen.🙌🙌🙌
Stephen De La Vega
This is enlightening, Alice. I imagine any improvement for a Narcissist is a direct result of God’s mercy. I don’t remember his exact diagnosis, but a Christian psychiatrist used the term Narcissist when describing me. I would guess I was more on the Narcissistic behavior side of the coin. I had some of those unhealthy character flaws you listed and God, in His mercy, brought me down to earth. Those flaws still creep up sometimes, but I’m much more self aware and so much more empathetic than I was as a young married adult. I’m so grateful to God for working on my heart. That was some 25+ years ago, but I’m sure glad God didn’t put me in the 7-year program!
John Brent Caldwell
Stephen, I haven’t been diagnosed with narcissism, but I see a lot of the tendencies in me and I believe that those were the reason my marriage failed. Truthfully those characteristics terrify me and I’ve cried out to the Lord for deliverance from these because I don’t want to live this way harming anyone. I think the biggest thing that has influenced narcissism in me is unhealed trauma that was done to me when I was younger. It came from my Dad before he really experienced salvation as well as people that I thought were my friends. I desperately want healing in these areas and I’m willing to go through whatever the Lord needs to do to heal me. I’m at the point that I don’t care if I have to lose my mind like Nebuchadnezzar did. If it brings healing and sets me free to truly love God and others it’s worth it. At the root of my problem is I don’t think that I’m loveable or capable of being saved. If I answered honestly I would have to say that I don’t think that I really believed that my wife loved me even though she stayed with me for 21 and half years married. I deeply regret hurting her and believed that I failed at the most important relationship that I was given responsibility over and I tremble when I think that I am going to have to give an answer to Jesus one day and I have no excuse. I am fully guilty and responsible. I also treated my Dad with disrespect and dishonor and I will have to answer for that as well. My only hope is to truly experience the transforming love of God and I have prayed constantly for that but I wonder if it’s too late for me because I’ve been praying for this for years and my life has remained the same. I am ruined by my own hand. I’m on disability and living by myself in an empty house. I still have friends, but I have gotten to the point that I isolate myself too much so I look at that as being selfish because what if they need me and that’s why they want to be around me? I constantly struggle with fear, anxiety, suicidal thoughts and urges and doubt and unbelief. I believe that I’m double-minded and that’s why I haven’t been able to receive anything from the Lord. I believe that I’m severely oppressed by demons and to be honest I deserve it. I desperately want to get free and be used by the Lord to genuinely help others, but I fear that I’m never going to get free. I have even questioned if God chose or wants to save me because many times in my life I’ve sincerely repented of sin and confessed it, but only God can change a heart and I do know that when He does it that person is never the same again. I have just felt like one of the people that God created as a vessel of dishonor and that all He wants to use me for is giving people hardship for the purpose of them being conformed to the image of Christ. I’m being used in the lives of vessels of mercy but I’m a vessel of wrath apparently. Why would God allow me to hear the Gospel so many times throughout my life but never be allowed to really choose it and thus be saved and transformed by it? I have dealt with rejection a lot of my life and it feels like I’m being rejected in the worst way possible by my own Creator. That really hurts and leaves me feeling completely unloved and without hope. I just don’t know how I went from being an angry rebellious youth who hated God and anything to do with Christianity to someone who thought he experienced salvation when I was 17 to a severely depressed suicidal person now that has ruined his marriage and caused his father abuse. I didn’t want to hurt my Dad with my words and everytime that I hurt him I hated myself for it and I would ask the Lord why I kept doing it and told him that I wanted to change. I would go to my Dad and confess my sin and ask him to forgive me and almost everytime he would say “Brent there is nothing to forgive.” and I don’t understand why he would say that. Really I did though because that was a demonstration of how the Lord changed his heart and gave him a deep love for Himself and people.
How did the Lord set you free Stephen? I know ultimately it’s an undeserved act of His mercy and grace towards you and I sincerely deserve hell and eternal separation from Him, but I am constantly calling on His mercy to save, deliver and heal me because I am undone. Feel free to call me if you want or email me. My number is 770.378.4393 and my email address is johnbrentcaldwell7777@gmail.com. This invitation is open to anyone else as well.
Creative Design
John Caldwell, I read your post and I can promise you, you are not a narcissist. I am no expert btw, but I do know the signs and you don’t have them. First of all narcissist don’t believe they’re narcissist, no matter who says they are. They don’t think THEY are the problem, they think everyone ELSE is the problem. Even if the signs are all there they would never admit to them. You don’t seem narcissistic in the least. You’ve admitted the wrongs you have done and that takes a humble heart. You were rejected in the past and that may have led to problems with other people, but that does not make you a narcissist. You were once a victim, but if you now use that to help others and treat others right, A true narcissist would not be truly sorry for anything he has ever done; if he’s ever sorry it’s only because he got caught, and no other reason. He’s incapable of feeling empathy for anyone and may even harm his own child or other family member for personal gain. I recently heard about a serial killer who murdered his foster child he’d raised for years and had even talked about adopting, a boy who had a terrible home life and truly believed this foster dad really loved him as he taught him how to fish, how to build things, etc…all the while planning the boys death in the future, once he became a young man, so he could collect the life insurance money. Years later when he got caught and confessed to 6 homicides, (his daughter turned him in and said she believed he’d actually murdered many more people than six), he had absolutely NO remorse, and when asked about the foster son said he was sorry “he had to kill him”. In his mind it was all about fulfilling himself and NEVER about the other person. All his victims were innocent people at the wrong place at the wrong time, and that foster son was no more than a commodity to him, someone to groom for his own selfish reasons and nothing more. That may be an extreme case but I wonder what a true narcissist wouldn’t do to fulfill his own selfish desires. Are there limits when push comes to shove? What if the only thing stopping them from doing worse things is the fact they may get caught? You care too much to EVER be labeled a narcissist. If you’ve repented for things you’ve done you ARE forgiven whether you feel forgiven or not. If you’ve asked Jesus to be your Lord and Savior you ARE saved, whether you “feel saved or not” Feelings can be very fickle, so don’t rely so much on feelings. Don’t let your past define you. I’m sorry your marriage split up but no one goes into marriage thinking their marriage may fail. In a perfect world there would be no war, no divorce, and no abuse of any kind. But this is NOT a perfect world. Unfortunately divorces happen every day. You’ve already admitted the negative things you brought into your marriage so you shouldn’t beat yourself up over that. Don’t be your own worst enemy and don’t be so hard on yourself. Ask God to restore what you’ve lost, and He will in His own way. Make it a habit to pray every day FIRST thing when you wake up. It doesn’t have to be for an hour, it might be five minutes one day and 20 minutes the next, but you’ll start seeing a real difference over time and you’ll realize God has been with you and listening to you even when you didn’t FEEL His presence. I read your post with interest, and I believe God led me to take the time, because he’s trying to get you to realize He IS with you and will NEVER leave or forsake you. He often speaks to us through other people, sometimes even strangers, to get our attention.
Starla
Alice, your posts are always so informative to read. Thank you. I’ve heard over and over that NPD isn’t curable. I’ve not ever thought of Nebuchadnezzar tho.
LoreLLa SquiLLaro
I Am Praying For MERCY AND GRACE FOR ME AND MY HUSBAND YOU KNOW WHY THEY NEVER GET HEALED BECAUSE THAT
‘S WHAT WE SPEAK EVEN ME I PRAY KEEP SAYING THEY WON’T DID JESUS DO MIR mm
ACLES WHERE PEOPLE SAID HE COULDN’T
Çağan Mert Sarıtaş
Stop talking to your husband, and stop making any form of contact with him, and never come close to him. Your husband will never change.
Witheld
Very enlightening and thought-provoking. We are dealing with a narcissist and most every box is ticked! Thinking it was the only solution, I had been reluctantly praying for a personal disaster to get their attention. I am more convinced that is what it takes after considering Nebuchadnezzar’s plight. ONLY an intervention from God can change this type of personality.
Nyameka
Wow this is what I’m going through. I’m still struggling to get out.i need help and support
Jennifer B.
What a great article! My stepdad was a narsacist but when he got saved he became a new man with no narsacist ways! I often felt like he was so blessed to be given an easy way to overcome it because as a Christian you can’t just get saved again…but maybe total surrender is all it takes in both instances. I just wanted to comment to let people know that if your loved one is lost then being born again can deliver them. It did with my step dad and he changed almost over night!
Claudia
In the end, it was free will your stepdad chose to save himself. Most of the time, they don’t admit, thus never change.
Veronika
Hi Claudia, we can have hope in that the salvation is 100 % from God and 0 % from us. The fact we bow down and cry for His mercy is His work in us – Him giving us a new heart. Col 2,13: 13 (A)You were at one time spiritually dead because of your sins and because you were Gentiles without the Law. But God has now brought you to life with Christ. (…) / We were dead, in boundage of sin (free will to choose what is evil – we did nothing but evil) // God is clear in the whole Word about it being Him who chooses/elects – Rom 9.15:
For he says to Moses, “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.”
It is a great comfort knowing He is in control – well, is not it in the essence of being God? If He wasnt, that who would He be. Yet, He tells us in His Word – He is the one who does that we want and will turn to Him.
May He save many of our loved one.
Much love in Christ,
Veronika
Baggs
Sound like politicians and the White House need to read this… you talk about a group of people who claim no wrong in anything they do… geez!
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mosesanemhen
Great post indeed. This piece mirrored the behavioural attitude of evreyone. No escaping from the five characteristics traits debunked. At one time or the other we are Narcissus. The extreme case was that of king Nebuchadnezzar who received divine intervention.
Besides, I am praying to God to eliminate every trace of of the this disorder to be useful to my humanity. Thanks, Alice and God bless you.
Carla Waggonner
I was married 34 yrs to a narcissist and prayed fir his salvation even though he clamed he was saved he vould never give an account of his savation i meand we all know you prsy and ask Jesus to save you for He is the sacrifice for it. He could not tell me straight forward what he did to be saved and not to criticize but if its there you see the fruit of it in their lives. You cannot see what is not their. I too had not thought about the king Nebukineaser (sp) . As i learned what his problem was i tealized i had been raised by s dad who had the same traits and was prolly why i fell into that marriage. God has delivered me after thirty four yrs and it has taken my health. I have DOMESTIC PTSD, anxiety, panic disorder and fibromyalgia , and have had to deal with sexual molestation as a 6 yr old and rape as a teen more than once by family. So you can imagine how upside down my life is only one yr out if this bad marriage but im comin back slowly and will get back as far as i can with Gods help. Its so easy to walj backinto this type of relationship but i pray God sends me tge right man from him cause i am lonly and yet weiry.
Thank you for hearin me out and God bless any one in this abusive mentally and sometimes physically relationship thst they can get out.
C.B.
Carla you and I could be twins. I am so sorry you have had to go through so much. I have been out of a NPD marriage for 10 years. It does get better and praise God, He does heal! Keep in prayer and give God the time you need to heal you.
Anonymous
I never knew there were so many of us.I have survived 34 years also ,but I am very exhausted.I am an empath who thinks she has to do whatever it takes to please and fix everything.I guess that’s why he picked me.I pray God will give me the right answer.A person with no remorse,conscious,no empathy,nor the ability to love or even care for another is the saddest thing.I only realized a few months ago what a malignant covert narcissist,with sociopathic tendencies is.I have looked into the eyes of satan as he holds a knife to my throat,I have escaped being stabbed by only 4 inches,yet I stay.What is the reason I can’t go?I am terrified what he will do to my grown children and my grandchildren.He told me “I WILL TAKE MY GUN AND BLOW THEIR F—-ink HEADS OFF” .He told me many years ago he would destroy me and if he couldn’t he would kill me.He has a hatred for ALL FEMALES that would send chills up your spine.He puts on a show in public like he is he nicest most respectful human on earth.IT IS SO FREAKY I HAVE HAD TO GO SOMEWHERE AND THROW UP. THE LIES NEVER END NOR DOES THE CHEATING.HE SAYS ITS HIS RIGHT AS MY HUSBAND TO TELL WHATEVER LIES HE NEEDS TO TO MAKE HIMSELF LOOK BETTER.HOW SICK IS THAT?€1
Claudia
Yes, there’s many of us out there hoping and praying for deliverance. I am an empath too, and been in this marriage for 26 years, and yes, I have been reading and learning about narcissism and how to deflect their behavior towards one, but it can only work so much. 27 years ago in 1993, I met him at our local community college, he was the nicest, most kindest person you would ever meet!. He was the first to talk to me in campus, and we became good friends. I would confide in him as he with me (or so I thought). 5.5 years prior, I was in another bad marriage, my ex was incredibly jealous! When we went somewhere, I had to be looking down and my attire had to be very conservative. When I met my now husband, he was so wonderful, saying that I’m not getting the respect and appreciation I deserve, I knew this and months before, I was getting legally separated. Even my now husband helped me to pay the attorney. I was so happy to be with my “Night in Shining Armor” In such gratitude and love, I proposed to him to live together in a little apartment, he agreed. We lived together for a year and we had bad arguments and fights, but I figured -who hasn’t? I was 26. As the time has gone by, I’ve been in a “should I walk on eggshells, be happy, be defensive, shocked, sad, anxious marriage. And the drop of water that overflowed the cup was never before had he ever say ” I want to kill you right now” because he wants to have his way by keeping 4 adult dogs he found as puppies, and now 6 puppies! City ordinance is you can have up to 6 pets that’s it. When I asked him what are we going to do with 6 puppies?, he went off the deep end to threaten me not to call animal control or “we’re over” and that I was cruel with a cold heart! And then went off to get close to my right ear (in front of !y 21 year old son) “I want to kill you right now!” He’s kicked me out of the house with nothing but the clothes on my back many times (1993, 98, 2007, 2015, 2017, and 9/10/20) I can’t leave, through the years in a love less marriage, my three children moving away, I became the cat lady. My cats are well kept, well fed, healthy happy and loved by me as well as they have helped me feel better, love heals the soul. And I’m afraid to get rid of his malnourished, mama dog and puppies, these will be huge dogs that we absolutely can’t keep! That stressful situation we’ll be in a couple of months is insane! But he wants to keep them all! Its ALWAYS been his way!
Anonymous
Narcissist. Can God heal them ? Do they want to be healed? It’s an ego that does not belong to God of the Light. That spirit belongs to the Dark. Some people get off on there ego with others being a narcissist. If they love this dark spirit there’s no healing for them. See God does not force anything on us. We have are own beliefs, our own decisions that we are responsible for. Free will. So it depends on the narcissist if they want healing are not. The one I’ve have ran into in my life Don’t. So there is no healing. People have to own up to there thoughts Good and Bad. Life is lessons. Some people learn and some don’t. It’s all on you.
LL
Exceptional post! My ex, I believe, does have NPD and in court has even told the judge he is ruling incorrectly. However, I pray that God will do something like this to save him and the lowly conditions might be imposed by the legal system. Your post has encouraged me that a miracle can happen for my ex so that he can be the father to our daughter he can be.
adaughtersgiftoflove
I knew immediately who you were thinking of, I wish He would close some mouths like He did Zacharias too, He give a free will though or the fields would be full. The king finally came to His senses, I think Ananias and Sapphira fall in there too, and the rich young ruler.
Patricia Millgate
But listen….! A narcissist is someone that had a terrible upbringing; an unloved lonely childhood that produces NPD ( narcissistic personality disorder). Therefore, as they just cannot change due to it being a major mental illness, is it their fault they’re like they are?
Should we forgive them? Will God forgive them?
Alice Mills
Forgive? Sure. Have continued contact to the detriment our bodies and souls? Maybe not.
Cynthia Murray
Patricia, I was married thirty years. In the family I LOVED and played and nurtured my son and daughter each day.
Fast forward another ten years:. My ex-husband AND my daughter BOTH have NPD!!!!
I believe there is MORE than a “lack of nurture” link to some cases of NPD. In some ways, at 38, my daughter is in WORSE shape than her father was when I married him ( he was 37). My daughter HAS DROPPED completely her mother, father, and brother FROM HER LIFE…going on ten years. I raised my grandson for four years after my daughter’s first divorce. My “heavy cross” that I carry daily is THE ABSENCE of a relationship with my precious, precious grandson. I DO NOT let my mind ruminate on the DAMAGE living alone with my angry, bitter, entitled!!! daughter….is causing J. He is a compassionate, kind and loving boy.
Sally Spears
Cynthia Murray my heart brakes for you and because I know your pain so well. I’d love to be able to zoom with all of yall here if possible. My email is sallyjspears@gmail.com. I’m in San Antonio, TX. God’s speed in healing to us all. The pain was too great again for me to process and I fell off my path again. I hate the devil so much for tormenting us through our children. Thank God for sending His Son so that I may yet AGAIN receive forgiveness and repent.
Lisa
Not always true. My son grew up in a very loving home. At a very young age he had behavioral problems and we tried to get help and love him up more. He was unknown to us until a few years ago physically and verbally abusing his younger siblings and threatening them with death should they tell us. He brought them to the point of death several times. We as a family since he has left and they told got immediate counseling and found out about genetic narcissism and for him also sociopath. He has now lost his second wife and still isn’t paying child support for his first two children. People are trash that he throws away. He manipulated every therapist and me and his dad growing up. Not every narcissist comes from a bad home and blaming the mother every time is wrong info. There are not a lot of studies except on prisoners because of there defense team so of course a lot of what is known comes from bad home lives. New studies and tests on others have shown this is not always the case. We were all victims of him and will probably live with the horror for the rest of our lives.
Claudia
My mother in law and brother in law are the same. My father in law was such a kind loving person, and he had two strokes that the stress of living with a narcissistic wife for almost 50 years, finally the last stroke killed him. My brother in law was with his first wife for 25 years. He cheated and she divorced him. He then went off to live with the woman he cheated with. He married her two years later saying “she paid her dues” now treats her like trash. They’ve been married since 2011
Claudia Hannum
What about the story of Saul… when God transformed him into Paul did he use a divine intervention – I believe Paul was a narcissist prior to his conversion – would you agree?
maryleemorgan
Yes, we have to distinguish between high narcissistic traits and true, diagnosed NPD. But those with high narcissistic traits can do the same amount of damage and be just an unwilling to look at any fault in themselves.
Anonymous
Claudia, I too thought of Saul/Paul when I first read this article.
Phebe Kay
This is great. I m glad i am finding more help on this. There are still more people out there who have no clue about narcissists, especially in Africa. Please this should be a campaign. I have lots of friends in such relationships, some married. They wouldnt listen when i tell them. I myself never listened before i married cos i never heard of much. No much info, just thought it was another face of bad behaviour that can be overcome with “love”. God bless you. I shal study this topic more, especially from Nebuchadnezzar angle. The Pharisees never yielded to Christs tender ways, &yrs abasement seems like the wtg
Charlotte
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3tSQdG2umIQ A psycopath/sociopath healed by Jesus ☺️❤️
N
I have decided I am going to get an evaluation. I have gotten diagnosed with severe depression but I think it’s beyond that! I got OCD symptoms as well like intrusive thoughts and images and fear of hurting people, now though I have been evaluating my self and I feel like I fit in all the covert narcissistic traits! I have known the Lord since I was seven! I even feared the rapture and obsessed about not being taken away when I was 10! Since this OCD episode I gotten to know the real me!! I have used passive aggressive with my husband and even the silent treatment on him! I know God is good!! And nothing is impossible for Him!!
Richard
If I’m not a narcissist I don’t know what I am. I tick most of the boxes except that I’m aware that I am unable to love and I scare and freak people out. People avoid me like the plague. I’ve been researching about NPD, the false self and the true self. I’m not sure what to do as I cannot come into contact with people as I dont want to hurt anymore people. I’m tired of the rejection and the enemies I create. Any suggestions? One last thing in my defence, I should never have been borne. My life has been awful. I’m grateful for the good things in my life but if I had my way I would rather never have existed. I’m not even sure that God would answer my prayers for healing. If anyone has any ideas as to how someone as sick as myself can get healing I would appreciate it very much.
Phee
Richard I don’t think u are narc. Perhaps u are just surrounded by them or maybe you attract them a lot, just like all empaths. Then they project their negativity on you and it play out in your head that its all you. Perhaps in addition, you are trying to heal of some emotional wound, but being unsuccessful, you end up inflicting others with it. Seek counseling ASAP, you are worth it.
Veronika
Dear Alice,
Thank you for such a hopeful post – let us not enable sb’s bad behaviour (for their sake) and let us stay firm in God’s truth.
As you requested – the changed psychopath – I’m not sure whether this guy would fall into that categorie before conversion, but I guess so. On Youtube you can find David Wood’s testimony – He used to be very unemotional from childhood, been to prison for a harm he did to his father. Yet, look how God changed him and from that day he tried to help people.
How Great is The Lord ❤️
Guy
My wife of 11 years suffered child abuse and has been living behind a mask of NPD, BPD, and not sociopathic disorders. I am praying and praying for her salvation and for God to heal her. We have 2 beautiful loving and special kids and I know its not in God’s will to end our family in divorce. I finally figured out the toxic cycle of abuse she inflicted on me and eventually my young son on a weekly basis it seemed. The constant conflicts, yelling, screaming, and always blaming others was a mystery I could have never solved using my own trusted logic. It took Quora and research to see I had been cycling through the idolize>devalue>discard stages of abuse time and time again. I would always come back for the promises of sex, perceived sincere apologies, and honestly from the fear and avoidance of the divorce process with someone in this mental state. I knew it would be a no boundaries all out assault and I am laid back enough to not let the abuse effect me personally most of the time. Once I figured out the cycle and began mocking her next predictable move and calling out her subconscious defense mechanisms by name, she realized the game was over and I had her figured out. Over the next month, she found a new victim (way older man and way below her usual standards) which was quite strange initially until I realized this was common for an abuser seeking a quick hook to a new victim. Her family and the man go as far as to claim they are cousins/family and there is no romantic relationship going on. They do have the same last name but that is the most common name in that area by far and there have been numerous other normal marriages between the same last name as my wife and this gentlemen. My son is 11 and he told me in great detail the disturbing things that went on when they were in his home together. This man has a son that is friends with my son so I was caught off guard but also was very suspecting very early on with the way my wife began to act. She began avoiding me, stopped texting/calling, she would sometimes make plans with me on the weekend but would always end up ghosting me and was constantly with this man at his home. I eventually caught her in a big lie and got the proof needed to see that she had gone to the beach with him and took my daughter. She filed for divorce and accused me of the most heinous allegations imaginable from domestic violence, child abuse, child molestation of my own daughter, and a host of other lies. She hacked into almost all of my personal email accounts and social media and still has the majority of them compromised and will not give me the passwords. She changed the emails and phone numbers to hers and even changed my security questions and DOB to make it impossible to recover the account. I have notified the Attorney General but I honestly believe she has no recollection of these types of offenses and does not live in actual reality. She cannot accept any fault or responsibility for anything that looks bad on her and has not for our entire marriage. I have hired a great lawyer and we got the best judge for my advantage so God is watching out for me. I am still praying for a miracle and her family still protecting her and enabling her by sweeping the childhood abuse under the rug to maintain their own fake images and they use the same subconscious defense mechanisms at nauseum. Its honestly the most frustrating thing imaginable and I finally told her mother that my 6 year old daughter is honestly way more mature than you. They can’t dare utter or even perceive putting my wife on the stand for anything. Its all my fault and I am to blame for any thing I accuse or ask for help on. This sadly includes the first time I caught her raging and verbally abusing my son telling him that she hated him over and over and slamming doors when I was 7 or 8 years old. Her parents drove 4 hours to answer my plea for help and they of course ended up blaming me for the whole episode because I didn’t discipline my child like they did with the same physical, verbal, and emotional abuse that has left my wife in this hopeless and defenseless state of emotional and mental incompetence.
I know God is the only one able to heal her and this quite honestly looks hopeless from all human viewpoints. God saved me about a year and half ago from my addictions and selfish desires. He dramatically transformed my heart and I have been a new creation and devout follower of Christ ever since. I cling to God’s patience with me (I was almost 36 when saved) and my wife is now 36. She claims Christ and fakes the innocent Christian woman well but is full of evil, deceit, and wickedness along with the rest of her family from the generations of abuse they passed down to her unfortunately. She is honestly just a precious little child that was abused, mistreated, broken, and left to try and survive by any means possible in the home where she needed unconditional love, compassion, security and just to feel safe and be a normal child. She turned off all of her emotions and used manipulation, lying, and any way possible to control her environment and find some sense of security. Its horrible and its tragic, I now know the terrible things my wife has done to me and my kids are really not her and they were not intentional. I know she was left in this state in her childhood and she will stay that way until God intervenes. It’s all a mind driven fear of abandonment and thus the constant pushing away and pulling back to maintain control and all costs. If she pushes you away and you leave, then you are too blame and she maintains her self esteem and superiority and will just move on to the next victim as if you never existed. It has been very hurtful, and has challenged my faith and my mental state to just be dropped at the blink of an eye after 11 years of marriage and 2 kids. I am still holding my faith, standing for my marriage, and I hope to get a mental evaluation and diagnosis out of the divorce process over and above anything. She needs help, these type disorders make it almost impossible to ask for help, and I can only hope the courts or the reality of losing her kids and almost everything she has worked for or should car about will wake her up. I don’t think she is in any way mentally competent to stand trial and she has perjured herself many times already in the divorce summons and allegations by making many false allegations and many senseless accusations that are easily refuted with just bank statements, and credit card statements alone. She can’t tell her lawyer the truth if its in anyway a ding to her false image of herself, she can’t tell her family, me, our kids, or let alone a judge any truthful statement of any kind that is harmful to this fake ego and would lower her self esteem in anyway.
Please pray for me and my wife specifically. I have been praying with my son for her and it has been very powerful and almost supernatural at times. I feel like he is giving my spirit to her in some form or fashion. I have been reading verses about believing and unbelieving spouses and how a believing spouse can sanctify a unbelieving spouse if God wills it. I’m reading these scriptures’, praying over them everyday, and God has told me to just prepare for every eventuality so I am moving as if I am preparing for divorce and getting full custody of my kids and all the joint assets and support I deserve. My wife is a pharmacist and holds that position well and no one would ever suspect her to be the monster inside when she is in public as is just an innocents, shy, small, intelligent woman who fills everyone’s prescriptions in the most kind and thoughtful fashion. She is a master manipulator and masterful mirror of others. She had our entire church small group men and women fooled for 3 years and she just completely flipped the minute I signed the papers to sale our home. We moved to be close to her family and I gave up my entire life of friends, family, and real relationships. She has not slept in the bed with me sense and avoided me, isolated me, and tried to destroy my life looking back since the day I was saved. She publicly played the forgiveness and church role so I believe that will make my case for condonations. She was doing unthinkable things behind this fake act to try and incriminate me, blackmail me, embarrass me, and make me look like a completely horrible person. She impersonated me online and often stole my phone and would text friends and family pretending to be me and delete the messages and I had no idea. It is just crazy and she has committed many many cyber related crimes over the last year. I forgot to mention we both agreed we would keep our equity from selling our home in our joint account to buy another home where we moved. Two days later, she wrote herself a personal check for $210,000 of $260,000 we received and now its scattered all over banks and Lord knows where it is. She told her family that I stole the money to give you a sense of the sociopathic state she has been in. I could go on for days about the heartless, unthinkable things she has inflicted on me in just the last few months. I have now gone no contact and left our family’s and her fate in Gods hand. I have made it clear that I don’t want to get divorced and I know you need help but she will not communicate in any health way even though we have 2 kids. My son is staying with me and she has may daughter. I have not seen my daughter nor has she seen or even desired to see our son for over 6 weeks now. I am pursuing all the legal actions available to see my daughter and keep this civil between us until the divorce process plays out. She will not go to court, she has no capacity to face the truth, she hates public speaking and will not even utter a word in our church small group or any larger group setting. I know God will send my enemies running for the hills and terror and he will reveal how wicked, deceitful, and call out the abusers and blasphemers posing as this self righteous hard working successful Godly family. I know God is faithful and I hope this post can help gather more prayer warriors for my wife and hopefully help someone else going through a similar time of confusion, heartache, loneliness, and constantly juggling contrasting emotions such as anger, frustrations, vengeance, with those of empathy, compassion, and forgiveness in cycles. It gets better, I will make it through, God has promised me joy either way my wife chooses. I know this painful and most challenging time of my life was all part of my sanctification to be stronger and trust God in the worst storms imaginable when you have almost no hope to hold onto that things will ever get better. My mind has been consumed by this storm, I have not been able to focus on much else every day all day. I do know and have God’s promise that it will be worth every tear, every hurt, every jealous and anxious thought, and every ounce of suffering if he reconciles my family or he just simply frees me and my kids from this toxic and abusive family that surrounds us.
God is worthy, I will worship him, engage in spiritual warfare and fight the enemy at all costs, and God is faithful, he knows what I need, he hears my prayers and petitions, and he can be trusted even when you think he is not here and you have nowhere else to turn. He always shows up when I am at the end of my rope spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally, and even financially. My kids are protected and have not gone unloved and we have not missed any meals and kept a since of normalcy. I have tried to stay strong for my son but I have broken down in tears uncontrollably a few times over the last few weeks. I often wait until he gets a shower and I would just let out all of my grief and tears where he would not see me. He is loving child and he loves me so much and I love him beyond anything I ever imagined. I told him after my first crying show in front of him that sometimes you just go to let it all out. I then proceeded to tell him, ok enough of that, lets go workout and we manned up and took our emotions out in the weight room, lol God is working at all times, even when we can’t see it and the situation seems hopeless. I will keep everyone updated as this plays out. I hope the many prayer will soon bring the light to my family and this redemption story for both me and my wife would reveal God’s patient, loving, and supernatural healing nature and give him glory for all eternity. I know he is going to come through, I know she will be healed and he will pluck her from those that are wicked and deceitful. I love her unconditionally and I love my kids and my God with all of my being. I came too far and through to many life altering storms to just walk away and let her move on as if I never existed. That is not how God designed marriage and though our family began outside of Gods will and design for marriage, I still believe he wants us to start anew and give us another chance as believers and be a family that will ultimately honor God and serves him everyday and raises up Godly children and encourages others with our story of redemption when all seemed lost at every perceivable angle except from above. God knew the outcome before we were born, he willed us to this place in time, and he will deliver on his promised to restore my family and save my wife and heal her from the shame and guilt she should have never been dealt at such a tender and innocent young age by those that were supposed to love her and care for her the most. I can’t imagine and my childhood and parents were normal, ideal, and loving by all accounts. My heart goes out to those of you who have dealt with this type of abuse at any point and I know God can heal all wounds and make all things new. He puts us through pain and wounds us because our sin pained and wounded him all the way to the cross and to a horrific death. I have learned to embrace it and I know God is doing good in my suffering if I know now if I can keep my focus on him he will see through and will not give me more than I can bear. I have been close many times to thinking I can bear no more, but he always shows up and renews my spirit and makes me stronger than ever before. Its all part of his sanctification and how we become more like Christ as we seek him daily and persevere to the very end and walk before the saints in Glory for all eternity. I am still very weak many days but he is always strong and there to help me up and keep going. Please don’t give up, focus on him, serve others, battle the enemy, and keep believing no matter what!
Amen
Guy
Jerome Hartfield
Thank you so much for what you have shared. I have been going through exactly what you have written with my fiancé. For over a year I don’t recognize the woman I love and the mother of our son. My faith in God has got me through it and I know he will heal her and restore our family. Keep fighting man, just as I do everyday
Brad P
I grew up in a Narcissistic family. And I carried many of those traits into my adult life. While I haven’t been “cured” of it. I have been transformed into a different person. I still have some of those tendencies. But, I am far easier to live with.
How did I change? There was one thing about me that made me different than the rest of my family. Self awareness. As toxic as I knew my family was. I had enough self awareness to know that I was alot like them. There was no empathy in our family. No love. No hugs. No “I Love You”. Just criticism. Complaining. Sarcasm. Insults. Isolation. Competition. And dysfunctional lifestyles to go with it. I believe God has been looking out for me for a long time. And I could tell my whole life story to show this. But its really too much to write here.
I married a Christian girl that suddenly came into my life. But I never really called myself a Christian. And I didn’t know myself until I got married and moved in with her. It didn’t take long for my NPD type behavior to manifest itself. Neither one of us understood it for quite some time. And I played on her emotions often. In my heart. I loved her. I did feel empathy, unlike much of my family. But did not understand what was wrong with me. I spent a good 10 years on a roller coaster ride. Buying every self help book. Seeing doctors. Being put on meds, which only created more problems. I’ve walked the line on infidelity. Never crossing it. But playing from the sidelines. I hurt her emotionally on and off for such a long time. While everyone else was telling her to leave me, she had faith in us. And always held on, hoping that God would help me find my way.
Anyway. I have improved quite a bit over the years. I have prayed the last ten years that God would guide me and my family in a way that He would want us to go. We sold everything and moved off grid for three years. And away from our families. This was time to soul search. And bond with my wife and our three kids. My behavior hit a peak during that time. Feeling angry most of the time. Then I had a nervous breakdown from too much isolation and stress & anxiety. It took me two more years to heal from it. And I was somewhat humbled by it all. Then we moved into a large apartment at a cat sanctuary that we took care of. Many cats around. I still had behavior issues. But not as badly. I began devoting myself to God even more at that point. Then we all got hit with Covid. Thankfully, the kids recovered quickly. But my wife and I did not. We almost died. I was not far from death. I ended up in the hospital, losing my lungs slowly. The following night, She ended up there in the same shape. Thankfully, she talked on of the doctors into sending her to an antibody treatment. As there was only ONE opening left in the entire region. She drove there in the worst shape ever. Had our kids with her. She barely passed the oximeter. Having an o2 level below 80. But breathed so hard that it pushed it to a passing level. After the treatment was over, she began recovering. Me on the other hand, I was in the hospital waiting. The first three days I did not eat. Because I couldnt get up. I ended up on high flow oxygen. And they used Remdesivir treatment on me for 5 days. It worked. But I was in there by myself for a whole month. The slowest recovery ever. The last two weeks, I was up and moving around. I used that time to pray, and educate myself by reading Bible commentaries. That month had a lasting effect on me. Suffering has changed what nobody or nothing else could change before. I have been far more empathetic. Far more selfless. And after 30 years of marriage, I finally learned what God really created marriage for. My wife and I both have managed to stay together for all these years. Always being on talking terms. In spite of my faults. And hers. We both failed in so many ways with each other. But God is what kept us together. And we’re still healing physically and emotionally right now. After 7 months, I am still on O2 at home. Getting better every day. And with a different perspective of life and the people in it. I strongly believe that God can transform anyone.
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Li
Cured psychopath?
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark%205%3A1-20%2CLuke%208%3A26-39&version=NIV&interface=amp
Snoopy It Is
Well said. I currently work for a narcissist.
When someone is raging or angry at someone else for some reason, I always try, if I can, to calm the angry person down at least a little. But if someone was to get angry at or rage because of a narcissist, that is the only time that I have nothing calming to say and wouldn’t even try.
Narcissists found the secret potion to being human but still being like lucifer himself. The Bible says a lot about them without using modern vernacular, and none of it is ever good. In Jesus’s parable in Luke 18, He compares a narcissist judge (who is least likely to do right for someone else) to God (who is good and just). Jesus begins the parable, “There was in a certain city a judge who did not fear God nor regard man.” That’s the baseline of everyone who has NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder): they genuinely don’t fear God because they disdain Him, and they genuinely don’t care about any human being besides themselves because they disdain human beings. Sounds exactly like lucifer doesn’t it? In my opinion, narcissists are beyond healing outside of God’s very direct, personal, and involved intervention as in the case of King Nebuchadnezzar.
Anonymous
An inspired editorial with a truly powerful scriptural basis. I’m a 4th year (honours) psych student, with a great deal of experience on the receiving end of cluster B and the dark triad personality traits, having been completely broken as a person multiple times over. It was these experiences that brought me from luke-warm (therefore vulnerable) to fully committed in my life to God. The last person that broke me, God has placed in my heart. I’ve been praying for her every day for near 3 years now. It’s been a terrible test of faith, remembering the pain and knowing the scientific hopelessness, but God’s word to me is undeniable (though many times i wished it were). Hearing the story of Nebuchadnezzar in this new light, and reading the testimonies of other here gives me much encouragement. Praise God. I pray for everyone here; fulfillment in Him. In jesus’ name. Amen.
Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your story. Feeling so down I just came across this and I have been inspired to never entertain any narcissist.
My association with a narcissistic person lasted more than three years before he proposed to me. He always had something negative to say about everyone around him, craving attention all the time. On top of it, he asked me for nude pictures in return for monetary aid but would terminate contacts if I refused his advances. In spite of his inappropriate behaviors towards me, by God’s grace alone did I never compromise my values or give into such demands from him!
He placed the responsibility on me for various issues, such as having liaisons with a prostitute and indulging in substance abuse. Despite his own culpability during these incidents, conversing with him became difficult due to apprehension about triggering hostile reactions from him that sometimes included intimidations towards myself like threatening overdoses or accusations.
Individual, the situation worsened significantly over subsequent months. My accuser persisted in spreading false allegations against me through channels such as contacting government bodies like the embassy and even resorting to getting my account banned on online platforms like okCupid. These derogatory actions were not just aimed at hurting myself but anyone who dared hold a genuine desire for finding romantic fulfilment with adults sharing similar interests.
Despite facing numerous challenges dealing with these emotionally manipulative partners forcing harmful methods onto an unwilling person, I remained resilient throughout it all.
Leaving someone with preeminent toxic personality traits can be challenging. They are often skilled at manipulating us to stay together despite our instincts warning of caution and the dangers associated with unreliable relationships. It is crucial for both parties to discern between healthy and toxic dynamics within a relationship since agreeing or buying into faulty foundations only leads to eventual breakups, increased tension, short-term fixes or long-run pain until reconciliation becomes impossible.
It’s essential not to appear vulnerable by suppressing difficult emotions since this will create false hope that things will get better eventually when in reality few fruits may come from such labor—this serves as a timeless reminder that ultimately effects always find their way back towards oneself first; hence it’s necessary always take action wisely guarding against potential harm building themselves stronger than ever before while practising saying “No” without toleration toward disrespectful behaviours also focusing solely on finding true matches rather than temporary flings.
While pursuing a relationship, I received a clear message from God that my attachment was putting me in danger and He had someone else for me. Recently, while dreaming, God introduced me to an amazing man from the UK in this dream who showed no interest in my narcissistic ex when he tried to interfere with our date. He was a man of peace and he looked so calm. During the dream, I felt empathy towards my ex-partner and abandoned my date to check up on them. However, after witnessing their actions, I left promptly and went back to the restaurant where my date was patiently waiting for me.
Despite this warning dream, I still held onto hope of reconciliation with my ex as just friends – but each time we spoke it inevitably led to him hurling insults at me.Although he initially pleaded for forgiveness, only a few hours later he began hurling insults at me with every derogatory term imaginable being used against me without restraint.
I suggest that everyone carefully consider their choice of spouse before tying the knot. It is my hope and prayer that God grants us all wisdom to discern our prospective partners’ true character, as Amos 3:3 states “Can two walk together except they be agreed?”. If compatibility issues arise early in a relationship or marriage, it may serve as an indication for potential difficulties down the line. Remember that God wants only good things for us – let this bring you comfort if your self-esteem wavers when seeking companionship. While I continue to face personal challenges on some days, I remain hopeful about meeting someone special eventually.
Emily
Thank you for writing this article. I see narcissistic traits in myself, and I think I’ve seen them since I was a kid. When I was younger I would pick fights and disagreements with my sister for no reason, and I think I felt like I got something from arguing. I see several of the traits of narcissism in me now, like a sense of entitlement, insecure, an expectation of special treatment, and possibly low levels of empathy. I think this is physical and spiritual, because people have said my mom and her dad (my grandpa) are possibly narcissists. I accepted Jesus into my heart and life before and thought I was truly saved at one point, but the past few years I’ve been unrepentant of sin and refusing to repent. I feel like I can’t really fix how I think I’m a narcissist until I repent, and by not repenting I’m rejecting God, and that’s rejecting loving others, God, and myself. I feel like I’m divided inside and I’m not sure what is true. Sometimes I think that I was truly saved before and accepted God, and I somewhat desire to please Him, but other times I feel like I hate God and strongly desire to do things my own way. I saw another comment mentioning something about true self and false self, and that’s kind of how I feel. I’m not sure who my true self is because sometimes I think I want to please God, but a lot of the time I think I’m truly evil and just want to do things my own way. I’m not sure if I’m lying and deceiving myself by thinking that I want to follow God, when my life shows the opposite. I need to turn to God and repent, but I feel like my heart needs to change drastically to do that, and I’m not sure if I can anymore and truly live like a Christian.