The Father of Every Narcissist

The father of every narcissist is, of course, the devil. He provides a perfect pattern card of narcissistic behavior, beginning with his fall from heaven. Just a precursory look at his words and behavior read like the DSM’s definition of narcissism.

I have often had readers protest my Biblical analysis of narcissistic personality disorder. Their objection comes from the idea that NPD is a psychological term and, therefore, not Biblically valid. But depression is another clinical term often applied to Elijah, Jeremiah, and Jonah. It is a universal experience that afflicts most humans, if not all, at one time or another.

So my response to the objection is that nothing is new under the sun, according to Lamentations. All of the human mental and moral illnesses arrived at the Fall and remain with us still. A scientific name doesn’t invalidate a set of traits the Bible clearly deals with. It may seem extreme to compare the garden variety of narcissists with satan, but even Jesus referred to the self-righteous and egotistical Pharisees as children of hell. He made the connection long before I did.

Traits of the original narcissist:

1: He worships himself.

Isaiah 14:14 records the devil as saying, “I will make myself like the Most High.” Just as satan had delusions of grandeur, imagining he could be like God, so too, the typical narcissist set themselves as the gods of their little spheres. They look for acolytes to worship at their altar.

I remember finally understanding the nature of idolatry within my first marriage. I thought that an idol was something you loved. And it is, often. Timothy describes those we should avoid as “lovers of themselves.” But the other side of the idolatrous coin is fear. A narcissist desires to be both loved and feared. In fearing my ex more than God, I helped elevate him to the status of a god in our home. When I dethroned him in my heart, his abusive behavior escalated.

Never did it occur to my ex, nor does it to the devil, that they do not deserve to have absolute control. The incredible entitlement that it requires takes my breath away. Satan even attempts to bribe Jesus into worshiping him. Such pride should tip us off to satan’s narcissistic bent.

2: The original narcissist invented gaslighting.

What is the story of Eve but the grim beginning of women being gaslighted out of their sense of worth? Satan first causes her to question what she knows. “Did he really say not to eat of the tree?” satan asks. Then after planting doubt about what she previously knew without a doubt, he casts aspersions on God’s motivations.

“God just doesn’t want you to be like him,” the devil slyly suggests. Suddenly suspicion enters the garden. Just as gaslighting seeks to separate the victim first from themselves, then from others, so the evil one made Eve first question herself, then her heavenly father. Remember, that is how it always works. Step 1: Cause the victim to question his or her own reality. Step 2: Cause the victim to suspect others of evil intentions, separating them from their true source of support.

My ex-husband harped often on the refrain that my parents didn’t love me. That, in fact, they far preferred my brother. Well, he gave it his best shot, anyway. Fortunately, their love for me was never in doubt. But this leads to the next trait.

3: The original narcissist is an accuser.

Another name for the devil is the accuser of the brethren. Two sides exist to this coin, I think. The first is that the narcissistic mindset is incapable of genuine self-awareness. This means that they project onto others what they themselves are guilty of. They suspect others of lies, theft, and murder because that is what is in their own minds. As John 10:10 says, “The devil only comes to steal, kill, and destroy.” The most common example is that narcissists are so often unfaithful, they live in paranoia of being cheated on. Nothing exists that satan can accuse us of that he first did not do himself.

The other side is that of being a perpetual victim. I often joke that the mating cry of the narc is, “I’ve been cheated!” The devil really believes that God cheated him of his rightful place. And so narcissists, unable to see their own wrongdoing, see the reasonable consequences of their actions as the fault of others.

4: The original narcissist is a devourer.

1 Peter 5:8 puts it plainly. “Your enemy, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” We call the victims of narcissistic abuse the supply. That always gives me chills. If you have seen lions eating their prey, you know it’s bloody and violent. A narcissist seeks to take whatever good their victims have and consume it for themselves.

It is a myth that narcs seek easy prey. They seek partners who have beauty, intelligence, and emotional warmth. It feeds their pride almost as much as it feeds their desire to destroy those traits. In fact, the best way to divert their attention is to cover up those good qualities. If they see nothing interesting, they move on. The devil is always looking for someone to exploit until nothing is left of the original person.

5: Lastly, the devil is a tormentor.

I think this doesn’t get spoken of as much as it should in posts about narcissism. Narcissistic abuse is comprehensive, an all-out attack on the victim’s personhood. It is an exercise in desensitization. The name-calling, the sleep deprivation, the pinches, and the daily small humiliations are the lot of the abuse victim.  Not to mention the gaslighting, sexual abuse, financial abuse, and general cruelty of the abuser.

We know that the devil loves to torment humans. You see it all the time in Scripture. Poor Job is an example of satan’s abuse, as is Paul with his thorn in the flesh. Hell is also described as eternal torment, though I often thought living with narcissistic abuse gave me a taste of it.

More signs of the narcissistic tendencies of the devil exist that I don’t mention here. Grandiosity, the desire to tempt good people into doing bad things, and intimidation are some others I could make a Biblical case for. But the core reason for this article is to make the point that narcissism isn’t just a personality trait. Yes, it comes about by various means, parental issues, and even genetics. However, those narcissistic parts of ourselves are the parts that are capable of great evil. Moreover, narcissists have the edge on wickedness, partly because they inherited it from the one they truly follow, the father of lies.

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