How Narcissists Misinterpret Scripture

Many of us misinterpret Scripture. It takes both the guidance of the Holy Spirit and serious study to figure out what the Bible is telling us and avoid misinterpretation. We all have our filters that obscure the truth, and translations are sometimes spotty at best. But the difference between a sincere Christian’s attempt to understand the Bible versus how a narcissist uses it for his or her advantage becomes apparent with a little digging.

Any interpretation of the Bible that does not involve the Holy Spirit is bound to be inaccurate. But as unfortunate as that can be, the real danger lies in those who use it for their selfish purposes. Pastors, Bible study teachers, and even just you or me, sitting alone with the Word, are all in danger of trying to get around what the Bible says. If the Word is a two-edged sword dividing between soul and spirit, then some of us would much prefer a butter knife that spreads what we want to hear. I include myself in that.  The Bible is an uncomfortable book.

But to willfully misinterpret the Bible for the manipulation of others is heresy. If one is a liar at heart, like all narcissists, then truth is not even a part of the plan. So here are some of my observations involving those who regularly misinterpret the Bible:

1: Narcissists so significantly misinterpret the Bible that the meaning is nearly opposite of the original intention:

I understood this in a greater context just the other day. I was reading through Mark and came to the passage in Mark 3, where the Pharisees claim that Jesus is working with Satan. The absurdity of their claim comes from the fact Jesus just delivered a man from demons. Jesus said:

And he called them unto him, and said unto them in parables, How can Satan cast out Satan? And if a kingdom be divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. And if a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand. And if Satan rises up against himself, and be divided, he cannot stand, but hath an end. No man can enter into a strong man’s house, and spoil his goods, except he will first bind the strong man; and then he will spoil his house. Mark 3:23-27

For years I found this passage confusing, so when I read it the other day, I did some research. All the commentaries agree that Satan is the strong man. Jesus is making a point about how Satan would not work against himself. Matthew Henry, the famous Bible commentator, puts it this way:

It is plain, Christ’s design is to enter into the strong man’s house, to take possession of the interest he has in the world, and to spoil his goods, and convert them to his own service; and therefore it is natural to suppose that he will thus bind the strong man, will forbid him to speak when he would, and to stay where he would, and thus show that he has gained a victory over him.

My prior confusion lay with my ex. In one of my attempts to escape abuse, good Christian neighbors drove my daughters and me all the way from Kentucky to the bus station in Atlanta. I took a train with my four daughters, the youngest of whom was three months, to LA, where my parents lived. My ex began to engage my parents in lengthy phone calls because he could not contact me. His biblical defense was that he was the strong man, and Satan had bound him, taking his wife and children. He misinterpreted that verse so that it said the opposite.

I had a difficult time trying to figure out that verse because of his utter certainty about the way he saw that verse. My studies of the Bible had not focused on that verse, so it took years to circle back and look at it. I soon realized that when he would misinterpret the Bible, it nearly always turned a verse to the opposite of what it meant. Ironically, he put himself in the place of the strong man.  If all the commentators are to be believed, he took the place of Satan in his interpretation. Perhaps he was not so far off after all.

2: Narcissists misinterpret Scripture to benefit themselves.

Narcissists use Bible verses to further their ambitions. Every single woman I have ever spoken to who has been married to a narc who reads the Bible will tell you the same. The verse most often misinterpreted is the one where wives are told to obey their husbands. The next verse where husbands are to lay down their lives for their wives does not exist in the narcissist’s Bible. But that one verse, taken out of context, continues to be used as a justification of abuse.

The way a narcissist misinterprets this particular verse is by creating an absolute. In essence, he puts himself in place of God. Men and women alike owe God their obedience above any other authority, whether marital, governmental, or in areas of employment. By misusing this verse, narcissists turn women whose genuine desire is to be a good wife into slaves who exist only for the pleasure of their master. God may hate divorce, but He hates any kind of abuse far more.

3: A narcissist’s misinterpretation turns the Bible into a book of hate.

A narc will misinterpret Scripture for justifying his or her desires and beliefs. This isn’t just an individual issue. Whole churches can be deceived into turning the Bible’s message of love into a denunciation of whatever group of people they fear or hate. Slave owners used the Bible to justify their ownership of other humans. Some churches, mostly fringe groups, will protest with signs that say God hates… fill in the blank as you will.

On a personal level, we are all tempted to take Bible verses and twist them to justify sin in our lives. Cheap grace, or the idea that we can sin all we want because God will forgive us, is one such misinterpretation that is not unique to narcissists. The desire to change the Bible into something more appealing or permissive is a narcissistic tendency all humans share. We want what we want.

The difference is that if the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, then we learn to question our motives. We know that consequences are real and that God chastens those He loves. The farther along we are on the narcissistic spectrum, the less likely we are to question our hearts. The truly self-absorbed do not question at all. But to misinterpret Scripture is a dangerous game, the outcome of which is eternal judgment.

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