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Dissociation: The Curious Case of the Missing Heart
Dissociation is a bit deceptive. Most of my adult life people praised me for being incredibly patient and calm in the face of difficulty. What they didn’t know was I mostly just dissociated from my emotions. Some level of dissociation is common for those who suffer from trauma or any level of PTSD, making it difficult to delve into painful memories and emotions. For me, head and heart lived in separate rooms with the door kept locked. I figured I was just easygoing. In my life, dissociation meant that if someone offended me, I was the last to know! I registered the offence mentally, but then, two or three weeks…
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Five Traits of a Narcissist: Their Real Motives
While it is tempting to equate all kinds of abuse as pretty much the same, narcissistic abuse has a few characteristics outside the boundaries of emotional abuse. Obviously narcissistic abusers are emotionally abusive. I am not disputing that. However, the goals of a narcissist are significantly different from those of a person who is emotionally abusive because of immaturity. Knowing the difference is helpful. Narcissistic abuse requires a different approach to recovery, though the healing path from any kind of abuse is difficult. Emotional abuse is a matter of degree. After all, we all are abusive at times. We lose our tempers, withhold affection, call names, criticize, and take our…
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The Treachery of Contempt: Killing Each Other Softly
My first brush with contempt happened in sixth grade. A new boy enrolled in the tiny Lutheran private school I attended. I knew how hard it is to break into a new school, so I tried to be nice to him, to make him feel welcome. For whatever reason, he responded to my friendliness by calling me an unspeakable name. I still remember the moment for a number of reasons. Firstly, no one ever called me a name like that before this. Secondly, the sexually explicit term he called me felt like an assault. I felt the hurt all over my body. You have heard that it was said to…
Healing Through Art & Words
