• emptiness
    Emptiness,  Featured

    Eight Ways to Fill the Emptiness Inside

    The rise in depression and anxiety signal to me that many do not know how to fill the emptiness inside themselves. And I want to note that there are as many different kinds of emptiness as there are people. And, point in fact, many choose emptiness over the alternative. Being vacant can be a significant defense in our hurting world. Much of the emptiness that we suffer is actually avoidance, a refusal to face the pain we are sure awaits us. The other major source is simply the endless drain of our energy and emotion that life imposes. Children, work, spouses, church, and even our expectations of our own selves…

  • false refuges
    False Refuges

    False Refuges: Learning to Trust Yourself after Abuse

    I learned to escape into false refuges early on into my first marriage. My first marriage taught me that I couldn’t trust God. After all, I prayed for my ex-husband extensively and nothing ever happened. He must be one of the most prayed for humans on the planet since my mother spent a lot of her prayer time having a go at him as well. Because my prayers didn’t work and God did not change my ex from a narcissistic abuser into a good guy, I lost my trust in a God who changed people. I didn’t pray for people for a long time. I didn’t think it would do…

  • codependent behavior
    Codependent Behavior

    The Codependent Behavior that Kills Your Joy

    I spent most of my life thinking that codependent behavior was buying alcohol for alcoholics. I pictured a weak but loving person giving some drunk on the street a bottle of booze because at least the addict would be happy for a little while. Or maybe going to the bar, picking their loved one off the floor and taking them home, putting them to bed, only to do it again the next day. My ideas were mostly informed, I believe, by the movies. Turns out codependent behavior is a little more complicated. Turns out I didn’t just have codependent tendencies, but full-blown behaviors that needed to be addressed. So this…