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Six Toxic Responses to Boundaries
Toxic people dislike boundaries the way my cats hate a closed door. They figure it is their right to come and go as they please. The ripped up carpet and scratches on my door attest to their utter determination to have their way. The cats, that is. Toxic people usually damage far more than just a rug and a couple of doors. I suppose learning how to erect healthy boundaries always includes a learning curve. I, for one, did not anticipate the ruthlessness and perseverance with which toxic people attempt to discredit, tear down, and generally disrespect boundaries. But I have learned to spot the usual toxic strategies. I can’t…
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How to Forgive Your Narcissistic Abuser
This post on how to forgive a narcissistic abuser is twenty years in the making. If you are looking for an easy answer to an incredibly difficult and complex issue, this is not a post for you. Emotional abuse leaves physical wounds. Because it doesn’t leave physical scars, people assume that we are well, when in fact, we are not. It can take decades to really discover the depth of the loss and injury, as well. If you have suffered intimate terrorism, rest assured that this post is not a lecture on how you must forgive because otherwise, God will not forgive you. That always strikes me as a threat.…
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How to Have Done with Wrath and Still Love Justice
My relationship with wrath is complicated, so when God asked me to tell a young woman I had never met that He was angry at those who had harmed her, I was a little nervous. I walked up to her and asked if I could tell her a message I had from the Lord. She looked at me with a little apprehension, quite rightly. After all, it isn’t every day a stranger walks up to you with a message from God. She nodded and agreed. Her friends looked at me as if I was absolutely crazy for which I couldn’t quite blame them. As I told her that God had…
Healing Through Art & Words
