I hate positive thinking emergencies. They creep up on me at my worst moments. I stand at cliff’s edge, vicious barbarian armies closing in on me. In front of me lies the ocean. Even if I were to survive the sharp rocks that stud the cliffside, there is a sea monster waiting below, his gaping maw revealing rows upon rows of pointy teeth. I feel panic grip my chest, my throat. My hands shake. Then out of nowhere, I feel the hand of my co-worker gently squeeze my shoulder. “Try to think positive thinking,” he says, meaningfully and with sincere sympathy. “That’s it!” I think and begin to hum The…