• trauma bond
    Bonding,  Trauma

    From Trauma Bond to Freedom: Our Family’s Journey

    During a conversation about the trauma bond with my oldest, she challenged me to write a post that dealt honestly with the difficult journey my four daughters and I took from years of abuse to a healthy and loving blended family unit. The original trauma bond belonged to me and my ex-husband. For reference, a trauma bond is a seemingly iron-clad tie between an abuser and his or her victim. The result of the cycles of abuse that revolve around reward and punishment, the trauma bond has the same psychological effect as a trap has on the leg of a wild animal. Lured by the promise of something good, we…

  • oxytocin
    Bonding,  Featured,  Relationship with God

    Jesus and Oxytocin: How to Bond with God

    Oxytocin is the love molecule, the chemical behind social and familial bonding. It reduces stress and increases our happiness quotient.  Interestingly, it has also been called the moral molecule because our oxytocin levels increase when we treat others well. And as it happens, oxytocin can be very helpful in developing a close relationship with Jesus. So many of the activities that scientists recommend for increasing oxytocin levels correspond directly to many worship practices, both individual and corporate. And our imagination can go a long way towards helping us develop an emotionally intimate relationship with Jesus as well. In fact, regular prayer and interaction with fellow believers can add significantly to…

  • attachment
    Attachment style,  Bonding,  Relationship with God

    Setting God Free: How Attachment Style Affects Faith

    I bear witness to many people struggling to gain a toehold in their relationship with God. For some, God is like an unreachable guru on top of a distant mountain. If you find Him, He only speaks in riddles. For others, His face resembles the stern idols on Easter Island. Judgment is in the forecast, and soon. For still others, God is capricious, changing His mind about what good things He will or will not allow them to have in their lives. Now He loves me. Now He loves me not. The most painful iteration of God, I think, is the silent one. He is the all-seeing, all-knowing monolith who…