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Deflection: How to Spot and Stop It
Deflection is a go-to defense mechanism that started in the Garden of Eden. Adam deflected onto Eve and Eve onto the snake. I’m not the bad guy here. He or she is the bad guy! In order to avoid unpleasant emotions or realities in our lives, we distract ourselves and others from the source of the difficulty. We change the conversation to something else entirely. For some of us, being thought of as the bad guy is the worst fate possible. Anyone with children sees this in action daily. If Mommy reprimands Jimmy for hitting his brother, Jimmy will use deflection to draw the attention from himself. Mommy, but Billy…
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Seven Signs of a Narcissistic Mother
My heart always nosedives when I meet the victim of a narcissistic mother. They are usually some of the nicest people you will ever meet, though it may be difficult to get to know them. When they come for prayer ministry, it isn’t the presence of bad memories making it difficult for them to heal. While bad memories are plentiful, the lack of good memories is actually more of a barrier. And while abusive fathers are bad enough, a narcissistic mother in some ways is far worse. Mothers are crucial to the development of the internal self of a baby. A child whose mother is incapable of meeting basic emotional…
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The Three Great Fears that Prevent Healing
Pursuing healing requires courage and a lot of it. First, the barriers can be hard to overcome. Finding the right counselor, or affording a counselor at all ends the quest for some. And therapy is a significant time commitment in the busy world. At least those are the common excuses that I have made and hear others make on a regular basis. Then too, is the fear that people will find out that you seek professional help. Despite all the public service announcements about mental health and the well-meaning posts about the rising suicide rates, many people are still ashamed. Because seeking help means admitting you might need it. But…
Healing Through Art & Words
