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Toxic Forgiveness: A Harmful Imitation
Toxic forgiveness is akin to toxic positivity; underneath, it is a lie. To forgive a grievous wrong is not unlike the picture of grief I hold in my heart of a giant ball of gnarled string, each one a memory that must be looked at and let go. Letting go of the past is not a one-time task. Instead, it is a day-by-day release as one steps into the present fully. Of course, the words of Matthew 6:12 asking God to forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass us hang over those of us who have suffered significant trauma at the hands of others. I know countless women…
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Five Signs of a Spiritual Narcissist
While the spiritual narcissist has much in common with your regular garden variety narcissist, a spiritual narcissist tends to hold sway over more people. You can find them in just about any religion and denomination. Religion is often a big draw for narcissists. Spiritual authority is nebulous; many people who claim to have it, do not. But with enough bluster and authoritarian posturing, it can sure seem like others have spiritual authority. Pastors are not the only ones who often qualify as spiritual narcissists. I have seen many Bible studies putter out as a member stage a takeover. Often church splits are a result of the maneuvering of this or…
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How the Church Promotes Abuse (without meaning to)
I dislike writing any criticism about the church. She is the Bride of Christ and as such, is holy and set apart. And these days, the criticism of Christians by other Christians is often abusive, condemning, and ugly. This particular issue, however, weighs on my heart and mind. I bring it up humbly, qualifying my topic with the knowledge that not all churches or Christians, by any means, have this problem. I minister to many women, and actually, quite a number of men. Each of them finds themselves mired in abusive marriages with unrepentant spouses. In some cases, the spouses regularly attend church and spout Bible verses all the time.…
Healing Through Art & Words
