• learned helplessness
    Featured,  Learned Helplessness

    How to Overcome Learned Helplessness

    The typical picture given of learned helplessness is of a hawk staying in its cage, though the door is open and it is free to soar once again. The problem with this image is that, while certainly poignant, it minimizes the actual damage that precedes the state of learned helplessness. Abuse is almost always the precursor to a person deciding that they cannot escape their situations.  A feeling of powerlessness is a direct result of suffering mistreatment and contributes greatly to depression. The condition can progress to the point where a person will give up trying to escape the painful situation and instead, simply resign themselves to their apparently inevitable…

  • love
    family,  love

    Six Signs that You Love with Intention

    I am always amused by titles like this one until I dive into the topic. Learning to love well takes a lifetime of dedication to the art. Most posts on the topic of love have a long to-do list. And while I agree that love does indeed manifest as action, those lists don’t prove generally helpful to me. After all, my husband and each of my children are so different that what looks like love to one feels unloving to another. Neither am I here to recount the five love languages, as helpful as they can be. I think that to love well, basic guidelines read more like emotional maturity…

  • Controlling Behaviors

    Five Controlling Behaviors You Should Learn to Spot

    We all know people who exhibit controlling behaviors. In fact, when you mention control freaks in a group, it often elicits groans. Stories of crazy exes and former bosses start to come out. It turns afternoon special quickly. But they often exhibit controlling behaviors in everyday communication. Manipulation seems to come easier to some than others. Knowing how to spot it in yourself and others helps us self-correct. If we understand behavior, we can develop a strategy to prevent it. If we spot one in ourselves, we can stop and enter a relationship with more authenticity. If we learn to see it in others, we are less likely to be…