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Five Things I Want Say to Victims of Narcissists
I receive emails almost daily from victims of narcissistic abuse. Each of these victims sounds just like me twenty years ago. My heart aches for each of them because I know what they have ahead of them: the fight of their lives. Time and time again, the victims question themselves, afraid to face the brutal truth. How can it be true that the person you married does not love you and even more, has become your worst enemy? I remember Danny Silk once saying at a conference that if your loved ones don’t know you love them, you don’t. That quote struck me hard. He was talking, of course, about…
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Step Family Stumbling Blocks: What to Expect
I get a lot of Brady Bunch jokes when I tell people that my husband and I have a ‘blended’ family of six kids. Four daughters of mine from my first marriage and a son and a daughter from my husband’s previous marriage meant that I had three kids in high school for six consecutive years. We married over thirteen years ago, bringing together our children with stars in our eyes and high hopes in our hearts. We wanted to rock step family life. Was it worth it? Absolutely. Was it easy? Absolutely not. But if I had been aware of a few salient facts, I think the process might…
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Three Questions That Lead to Self Forgiveness
After a decade of no contact, my sixteen year old daughter lived with her father for about six months. While I didn’t sleep a full night during that time, she seemed happy for the first three. After that, things began to go south rather quickly, and soon, she came home, to both of our relief. One day soon after, while we were at the grocery store, she mentioned that her whole life she had assumed that our divorce was her fault. She had never mentioned this to me, the idea that somehow my divorce from an abuser could be laid at her feet. But before I could begin my strenuous objections…
Healing Through Art & Words
