-
Four Ways We Gaslight Ourselves after Abuse
By now, most people realize that to gaslight someone is to attempt to separate them from a core belief in themselves and their reality. In a genuine gaslighting situation, an abuser will often say things like Are you sure that is how it happened? I don’t remember it that way. Or perhaps it will go like this: I think you took my words just a little too seriously. You are just too sensitive and don’t know how to take a joke. In extreme situations, the abuser suggests that something is really wrong with the victim, that they need professional help. I am pretty familiar with this phenomenon because my narcissistic ex…
-
Your Abusive Spouse: When to Leave
Leave your abusive spouse now. Before anyone protests the sanctity of the marriage vow, let me say that I don’t take this answer lightly. And let me qualify the term, abusive spouse. Most people are occasionally emotionally ‘abusive’. These days that term is loosely bandied about and it can be difficult to ferret out what one or another individual means by it. Ironically, many abusers accuse their spouses of abusive behavior in an attempt to deflect their own wrongdoing. So let’s be clear by what this term really entails. Many people shut down, withdraw, lose their temper, and sulk. As humans, we are sometimes passive-aggressive, over-step a boundary, or let…
-
Five Ways Narcissists Use Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive dissonance occurs when we hold conflicting beliefs at the same time. The results of trying to balance two competing beliefs in one’s mind are often confusion, shame, guilt, and second-guessing one’s self. Cognitive dissonance can cause physical damage as well as it is stressful both mentally and physically. A lowered immune system, raised blood pressure, as well as a host of other symptoms can afflict the sufferer. Life and circumstances often cause some cognitive dissonance. For instance, we know that a particular purchase is not within our budget. We really want this purchase and so we argue with ourselves, employing a lot of rationalization. If we give in, we…
Healing Through Art & Words
