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Your Abusive Spouse: When to Leave
Leave your abusive spouse now. Before anyone protests the sanctity of the marriage vow, let me say that I don’t take this answer lightly. And let me qualify the term, abusive spouse. Most people are occasionally emotionally ‘abusive’. These days that term is loosely bandied about and it can be difficult to ferret out what one or another individual means by it. Ironically, many abusers accuse their spouses of abusive behavior in an attempt to deflect their own wrongdoing. So let’s be clear by what this term really entails. Many people shut down, withdraw, lose their temper, and sulk. As humans, we are sometimes passive-aggressive, over-step a boundary, or let…
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How to Forgive Your Narcissistic Abuser
This post on how to forgive a narcissistic abuser is twenty years in the making. If you are looking for an easy answer to an incredibly difficult and complex issue, this is not a post for you. Emotional abuse leaves physical wounds. Because it doesn’t leave physical scars, people assume that we are well, when in fact, we are not. It can take decades to really discover the depth of the loss and injury, as well. If you have suffered intimate terrorism, rest assured that this post is not a lecture on how you must forgive because otherwise, God will not forgive you. That always strikes me as a threat.…
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From Trauma Bond to Freedom: Our Family’s Journey
During a conversation about the trauma bond with my oldest, she challenged me to write a post that dealt honestly with the difficult journey my four daughters and I took from years of abuse to a healthy and loving blended family unit. The original trauma bond belonged to me and my ex-husband. For reference, a trauma bond is a seemingly iron-clad tie between an abuser and his or her victim. The result of the cycles of abuse that revolve around reward and punishment, the trauma bond has the same psychological effect as a trap has on the leg of a wild animal. Lured by the promise of something good, we…
Healing Through Art & Words
