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Boundaries: Reset and Reinforce Your Broken ‘No’
Some people seem to have the gift of no. Boundaries seem to come easily to them. When asked for favors, money, or permission, they hand out noes with blithe unconcern. Others, like me, feel guilty about denying the requests, even demands of the people in their lives. But if you are naturally compliant, suffered under the rule of authoritarian parents, have undergone abuse, or are simply overly empathetic, then saying no comes at a cost. Strategizing your ‘no’ can help you make and reinforce boundaries that are important to you, whether at home or at work. Before you begin to take back the territory in your life lost to poor…
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The Treachery of Contempt: Killing Each Other Softly
My first brush with contempt happened in sixth grade. A new boy enrolled in the tiny Lutheran private school I attended. I knew how hard it is to break into a new school, so I tried to be nice to him, to make him feel welcome. For whatever reason, he responded to my friendliness by calling me an unspeakable name. I still remember the moment for a number of reasons. Firstly, no one ever called me a name like that before this. Secondly, the sexually explicit term he called me felt like an assault. I felt the hurt all over my body. You have heard that it was said to…
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Three Methods that Helped Me Conquer Anxiety
I became aware of my anxiety, ironically, when suddenly I had less to fear. I found myself a single mother of four wonderful daughters and free of a narcissistic and cruel ex-husband. I was so used to feeling numb that when I began to reconnect with my emotions, all the fear I lived with for years came to the surface. My approach to life, similar to my father’s, is to get a few books on a topic and begin to educate myself, but somehow specific methods for curing anxiety proved elusive. The one thing that kept popping up in my research is that the brain is plastic, and we have…
Healing Through Art & Words
