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The Treachery of Contempt: Killing Each Other Softly
My first brush with contempt happened in sixth grade. A new boy enrolled in the tiny Lutheran private school I attended. I knew how hard it is to break into a new school, so I tried to be nice to him, to make him feel welcome. For whatever reason, he responded to my friendliness by calling me an unspeakable name. I still remember the moment for a number of reasons. Firstly, no one ever called me a name like that before this. Secondly, the sexually explicit term he called me felt like an assault. I felt the hurt all over my body. You have heard that it was said to…
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Promises You Should Definitely Break
I believe that it is a common phenomenon among parents that if they seem to agree to something, a child will take that as a definite promise. That child will then move heaven and earth in order to hold his or her parent’s feet to the fire regarding the so-called promises. But promises are a serious matter, of more weight than a child’s willfulness. Promises are sacred, after all, which is why we make them publicly very infrequently. Making promises to oneself seems like a good thing. After all, each of us fights the battle of daily discipline. And on the occasion that we fail to live up to our…
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Three Questions That Lead to Self Forgiveness
After a decade of no contact, my sixteen year old daughter lived with her father for about six months. While I didn’t sleep a full night during that time, she seemed happy for the first three. After that, things began to go south rather quickly, and soon, she came home, to both of our relief. One day soon after, while we were at the grocery store, she mentioned that her whole life she had assumed that our divorce was her fault. She had never mentioned this to me, the idea that somehow my divorce from an abuser could be laid at her feet. But before I could begin my strenuous objections…
Healing Through Art & Words
