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How to Build a Marriage: His Needs, Her Needs
Sometimes the over-consumption of books can lead one to mistake knowledge for wisdom. This was surely the case for me when we decided to attend a home group on the topic of marriage at our church, Harvest Cathedral, in Macon, Georgia. We attended the group on the strength of our fondness for our pastors, Steve and Debbie Sawyer, though without any high expectations. I remember asking a fellow professor once how his marriage was. It was an appropriate question in the context of our conversation. His response was disarmingly honest. He called it, “functional”. I was still in the throes of our honeymoon at the time so I remember feeling…
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Yes, God Wants You to be Happy.
One of the most pernicious lies in the Christian community comes in the oft repeated aphorism, “God cares more about your character than your happiness”. Added onto this particular gem is the assertion that as Christians, we are commanded to feel joy even when we are not happy. Next comes a tortured attempt at defining joy apart from happiness. Joy is apparently an emotion located in our spirit while happiness is shallow and only for those weak enough to seek the gratification of the flesh. Joy is lasting, while happiness is fleeting. To all these things, I say, “Bosh.” I blame Immanuel Kant in part for the angst-filled separation of…