• blame
    home environments,  Toxic

    Blame: Toxic Love Killer

    How does the blame game start? Picture this: we set out on a family trip and realize we forgot some essential item. So naturally, the first step is to figure out who was responsible for bringing that item. After all, it is crucial to establish whose fault the forgotten item is. Or is it? Then we grudgingly turn around, and our attitude punishes the forgetful member of the party. Finally, justice is served, and the trip is ruined. In Matthew 16, the disciples discover that they had forgotten to bring any bread on the trip. In what seems like a somewhat non sequitur response, Jesus warns them against the leaven…

  • despair
    abuse,  abuser,  Controlling Behaviors,  Fear

    Despair: The Aim of the Abuser

    Despair is not often discussed, though it is considered a dangerous psychological condition. Psychology Today describes despair as:         … profound and existential hopelessness, helplessness, powerlessness, and pessimism about life and the future. Despair is a deep discouragement and loss of faith about one’s ability to find meaning, fulfillment, and happiness, to create a satisfactory future for oneself. The goal of an abuser is to produce the elements of despair in another person. In speaking with the victims of this abuse and having suffered as one myself, I am always surprised at how difficult it is to admit to the intentionality of emotional abuse. Victims often invent excuses for their…

  • insecurity
    Anxiety,  Bonding,  Featured

    5 Ways Insecurity is Ruining Our Lives and 1 Way to Stop It

    Insecurity and anxiety are the two hands of unhappiness that we wring over and over. Like two snakes swallowing each other by the tail, this deadly circle can go round and round without end. It is hard to know which comes first; they can be so merged into one shaky, needy emotion. Everyone suffers from insecurity to some extent, but here are some signs that your inability to receive love is killing your relationships and harming you. 1: Insecurity drives us to court approval. I don’t think we realize what a strong drive approval-seeking is. Some of us constantly recite our successes in order to prove to everyone that we…