-
How the Church Promotes Abuse (without meaning to)
I dislike writing any criticism about the church. She is the Bride of Christ and as such, is holy and set apart. And these days, the criticism of Christians by other Christians is often abusive, condemning, and ugly. This particular issue, however, weighs on my heart and mind. I bring it up humbly, qualifying my topic with the knowledge that not all churches or Christians, by any means, have this problem. I minister to many women, and actually, quite a number of men. Each of them finds themselves mired in abusive marriages with unrepentant spouses. In some cases, the spouses regularly attend church and spout Bible verses all the time.…
-
Five Important Core Values in Marriage
When my husband and I first sat down to construct our core values, we struggled a bit. Our ideas about what made a marriage really great differed somewhat. My core values were more emotionally derived while his were more concrete and very detailed. In the end, we had around eleven, but of those, five have proven to be a source of real satisfaction in our relationship. In order to really hone a core values list, you and your spouse have to take some time to figure out what is really important to you. It is really easy to fall into the trap of just writing a list of what you…
-
Can Narcissists Change? The Answer is Complicated
Everybody wants narcissists to change, except the narcissists themselves, generally. Like most mental illnesses, narcissism exists on a spectrum. We all have some narcissistic traits which we either grow out of or perhaps use to our benefit. I think most writers have something of an ego. After all, we think we have things to write which we think others ought to read. And nothing feels better than a complimentary reader. The real trick is determining if the narcissist in your life has a personality disorder or if he or she is merely immature and self-absorbed. And often, the spouses have front row seats to the show and have to determine…
Healing Through Art & Words
