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Your Abusive Spouse: When to Leave
Leave your abusive spouse now. Before anyone protests the sanctity of the marriage vow, let me say that I don’t take this answer lightly. And let me qualify the term, abusive spouse. Most people are occasionally emotionally ‘abusive’. These days that term is loosely bandied about and it can be difficult to ferret out what one or another individual means by it. Ironically, many abusers accuse their spouses of abusive behavior in an attempt to deflect their own wrongdoing. So let’s be clear by what this term really entails. Many people shut down, withdraw, lose their temper, and sulk. As humans, we are sometimes passive-aggressive, over-step a boundary, or let…
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The Unreasonable Nabal: Narcissists in the Bible
Now the name of the man was Nabal, and the name of his wife Abigail: and she was a woman of good understanding, and of a beautiful countenance: but the man was churlish and evil in his doings, and he was of the house of Caleb. 1 Samuel 25: I suppose everyone has moments where they are unreasonable. I know I do. But most people come around once they get a nap, a snack, or a good talking to. But for others, being unreasonable is a tool that they use to upend other’s sense of reality. The narcissist is the inventor of the impossible choice, I think, and Nabal is a perfect example. The title of this post came…
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Five Things I Want Say to Victims of Narcissists
I receive emails almost daily from victims of narcissistic abuse. Each of these victims sounds just like me twenty years ago. My heart aches for each of them because I know what they have ahead of them: the fight of their lives. Time and time again, the victims question themselves, afraid to face the brutal truth. How can it be true that the person you married does not love you and even more, has become your worst enemy? I remember Danny Silk once saying at a conference that if your loved ones don’t know you love them, you don’t. That quote struck me hard. He was talking, of course, about…
Healing Through Art & Words
