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When to Go No Contact: A Biblical View
One of the most misunderstood concepts in abuse recovery is the concept of going no contact. As Christians in particular, this decision is often accompanied by a lot of guilt or fear. We reason to ourselves that we must love everyone, as indeed, Christ loved us. But even the Bible advises going no contact in some cases. I would even argue that cutting someone out of one’s life is sometimes the most Biblical choice one can make. But as always, we need real discernment when making such a drastic choice. Complicating our decision is the concept that God forgives us as we forgive others. For many, the concept of forgiveness…
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The Cost of Staying: Narcissistic Abuse
The devastating cost of being in a narcissistic relationship is often brushed over as if once a person leaves such a relationship, the price is paid. Nothing could be further from the truth. An abusive marriage is a bit like a predatory loan. You will keep paying interest long after the price of the loan is paid. I wish more material existed twenty-five years ago when I debated about divorcing. I didn’t realize then that, in one sense, I was already too late. I could escape in body, but true freedom would come much later. So I thought I would put together a list of what staying with a…
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Terror: Snapshots of Narcissistic Abuse
I first experienced terror in a nightmare at the age of 5. I sat on my bedspread, suspended hundreds of feet above the neighborhood below. A string dangled from one corner of the bright green and yellow coverlet, just out of the reach of a horrifying King Kong trying to pull me down from my unsteady perch. I couldn’t move for several heart-stopping moments. When I finally found my scream, I bolted to my parent’s bedroom. Terror feels a bit different as an adult. It is even difficult to write this. My innate dissociative tendencies keep interrupting my chain of thoughts. But it must be noted that victims of domestic…
Healing Through Art & Words
