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How Our Relational Style Affects Our Faith
I find that if I have a misconception of love and thus of God, that is, one that does not align fully with scripture, I need look no further than my relational style. Because we are in a genuine relationship with the Lord, we will often have similar hang-ups to those we have in our human relationships. All of us have a relational style, learned from parents and friends that we bring to our marriages and parenting. It should then come as no surprise that those relational styles affect our connection with God. A misconception of love, too, is common. As a naïve seventeen-year-old, I took my first husband’s overwhelming…
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Good Memories and Mental Health: Filling in the Gaps
Trauma is not only the product of bad memories but the absence of good ones as well. Extended abuse or trauma summons up visions of verbal and physical violence, but as damaging are the years barren of good memories. I faced this upon the dissolution of my first marriage, knowing that I needed to rehabilitate Christmas and birthdays. But equally as daunting, I confronted the reality of knowing I needed to create enough sense of safety that the everyday norm could begin to generate good feelings, interactions, and memories. When I married my current and wonderful husband, I did not realize I would need to rehabilitate such everyday interactions as…
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The Five Languages of Apology and How They Work
A familiar chain of events in families today is the roundabout argument that goes something like this: “I’m sorry.” “No, you’re not.” “I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it” “Yes, you would. You say it all the time.” This is the anatomy of the typical apology; one we learned as children. We offended our sibling and were forced to issue a half-hearted apology, which in their turn, they were forced to receive. In effect, Mom and Dad knew we were just going through the motions, and we became suspicious of apologies ever after. After all, we said them to get out of trouble, and it often worked. Most…
Healing Through Art & Words
