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Toxic Forgiveness: A Harmful Imitation
Toxic forgiveness is akin to toxic positivity; underneath, it is a lie. To forgive a grievous wrong is not unlike the picture of grief I hold in my heart of a giant ball of gnarled string, each one a memory that must be looked at and let go. Letting go of the past is not a one-time task. Instead, it is a day-by-day release as one steps into the present fully. Of course, the words of Matthew 6:12 asking God to forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass us hang over those of us who have suffered significant trauma at the hands of others. I know countless women…
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Blame: Toxic Love Killer
How does the blame game start? Picture this: we set out on a family trip and realize we forgot some essential item. So naturally, the first step is to figure out who was responsible for bringing that item. After all, it is crucial to establish whose fault the forgotten item is. Or is it? Then we grudgingly turn around, and our attitude punishes the forgetful member of the party. Finally, justice is served, and the trip is ruined. In Matthew 16, the disciples discover that they had forgotten to bring any bread on the trip. In what seems like a somewhat non sequitur response, Jesus warns them against the leaven…
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Six Toxic Responses to Boundaries
Toxic people dislike boundaries the way my cats hate a closed door. They figure it is their right to come and go as they please. The ripped up carpet and scratches on my door attest to their utter determination to have their way. The cats, that is. Toxic people usually damage far more than just a rug and a couple of doors. I suppose learning how to erect healthy boundaries always includes a learning curve. I, for one, did not anticipate the ruthlessness and perseverance with which toxic people attempt to discredit, tear down, and generally disrespect boundaries. But I have learned to spot the usual toxic strategies. I can’t…
Healing Through Art & Words
