• self
    Featured,  Self

    Finding Your Self and Why it Matters

    In the religious stream in which I grew up, finding your self was synonymous with narcissism. Whenever so and so mentioned that their friend or relative was embarking on a quest to find themselves, the adults would snicker. Then they would throw out the Bible verse that says, he who would find himself must first lose himself. That is not quite the way the original reads. I grew up thinking that having a self must be a bad thing indeed. Jesus would not approve. Now my theology has changed rather drastically. That I even have a self is a miracle. In fact, I am pretty sure that it is the greatest…

  • self-awareness
    denial,  Self-awareness,  success

    Self-Awareness vs Narcissism: How to Tell the Difference

    Self-awareness is to sensitivity as narcissism is to self-absorption. Many make the mistake of glossing over the term self-awareness as one of those jargon words like facilitate, monetize, or self-actualization.  Christians, in particular, are often suspicious of any word that begins with self. We forget that the injunction to love others as we love ourselves presupposes necessary self-love.  But self-awareness is the polar opposite of narcissism. Narcissism projects onto the world an image, while the true self, like the portrait hidden in Dorian Grey’s attic, grows less recognizable with time.  The cry of the narcissist is “I have been cheated!”  Narcissists seek to escape themselves. Those with even a modicum…