A misconception of identity is as dangerous as a misconception of love. I used to think that very little mattered. By this, I mean that whenever things happened that were unpleasant or painful, I would dismiss it with the idea that it didn’t matter. I would just get over it. Of course, this was merely a minimization of how deeply events really affected me. As I moved out of denial, I began to realize that everything matters, though perhaps not with the same impact. And the one that matters most is how we understand ourselves in relation to God and our neighbor. Our ways of relating to others are one…