The Apology Extractor: What Robots Can Teach Us

apology extractor

Fembot 281 is completing her morning routine oiling the toast and scrambling the egg signals when Manbot 281 comes rocketing down the stairs, steam pouring from his auditory capacitors.

Manbot, his nano screen flashing red and blue alternately:  Fembottoms, where did you put my ignition module ring?

Fembot turns, her antennae waving: I haven’t seen it, Manbot.

Manbot points his metallic digitalis at her:  I know you had it last!  You are always messing with my stuff.  Can’t you just leave things where they are?  Dang, Fembottoms.

Fembot spends a moment contemplating the layout of the dwelling unit and glides over to Manbot’s weather prevention cover and lifting it up, spies the ignition module ring.

Fembot: Here it is where you left it, Manbot.  Under your things.

Manbot grimaces using his digitally enhanced facial screen and picks them up. He prepares to refuel by putting what Fembot has prepared into his digestive cavity.

Fembot glares.

Manbot looks at her and turns his entire facial monitor off while continuing to ingest fuel.

Fembot:  Don’t you think you owe me an apology?apology extractor

Manbot retracts his auditory capacitors.

Fembot: I will launch my apology extractor. T minus ten and counting.

Fembot opens her frontal compartment and pulls out a longish metal instrument that looks like it is designed to retrieve calcium dental units.  She glides over to Manbot and begins to unscrew a small cover on the side of his facial monitor.

Manbot retaliates by slowly projecting a laser imaging ray that turns into the image of a stone wall that surrounds him.  But he is too late.  Fembot retrieves a small readout from Manbot’s head that says the words, “Fine.  I’m sorry.”

Fembot backs away from the stone wall and drops the readout which begins to self-destruct within seconds of retrieval.

Names have been changed to protect the misguided but as narrator, I feel I must make two points in order to clarify the transaction above.

  1. If you have to use an apology extractor in order to extract the answer you want, you may not get a truthful answer or you may make it difficult for remorse to occur.
  2. Manbots do not usually come with apology extractors. They usually have whycan’tyou justadmityou werewrong sub ray photon beams.
  3. One more.  What if your bot can’t apologize or admit wrongdoing?  Could that be an important thing to know, albeit scary to face?

If you want to learn how to apologize as a couple, I recommend The Five Languages of Apology by Dr. Gary Chapman. Yes, that Chapman of the five love languages. It is eye-opening and the key to helping people accept your apologies and to understanding why it feels like your spouse doesn’t mean theirs.



For more on the topic:

The Five Languages of Apology and How They Work


I am an Amazon affiliate. If you purchase something from my link, I receive a small commission at no cost to you.

10 Replies to “The Apology Extractor: What Robots Can Teach Us”

  1. Ha! This made me laugh out loud because it’s so true. If we have to extract and apology out of someone then it’s not likely going to be genuine. I love Gary Chapman’s the 5 languages of apology.

  2. This is hilarious. Sometimes I think we put too much stock in apologies, especially when they aren’t genuine. As if getting someone to say the words can make them come true.

  3. Interesting, I’ve never heard the five languages of apology. I’ll look into it.

  4. Lol. Makes me think of “Jetsons meet Jesus”. Manipulation to get an apology requires an apology. The best plan is to go ahead and forgive no matter if you’ve received an apology. I had not heard of the 5 Languages of Apology book; I’ll check it out! Thanks for sharing.

  5. I enjoyed this, Alice! So true about apologies! I haven’t noticed this book before, going to check it out 🙂

  6. my pastor always says that apologies don’t mean all that much if our actions don’t change

  7. Actions speak louder than words and trying to make someone apologize or say what you want to hear is never a good thing. Indeed you want someone to be real and sincrere when apologizing. Your take on this was very interesting and I enjoyed it!

  8. I laughed while reading this- so funny! And so true! It’s amazing how apologizing can be such a simple thing, yet for some it is an extraction process that eventually leads to forced and insincere remorse. Thanks for sharing the book; I didn’t realize Chapman had this one out.

  9. That book is a good one! I like your descriptive nature in using robots to get your point across!

  10. […] The Apology Extractor: What Robots Can Teach Us […]

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