narcissism in the Bible
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Narcissism in the Bible: Definitions and Warnings

While the Bible does not use the term, narcissism, the Bible does speak explicitly on the topic. A while back, a woman attacked me for using the term. She felt it was a Freudian term and that my use of it was frankly immoral. She did not really give me a chance to explain so I will do it here for the benefit of anyone reading this. Wikipedia, while sometimes an unreliable source, does have the origin of the term correct.  It reads:

The term “narcissism” comes from the Greek myth about Narcissus (Greek: Νάρκισσος, Narkissos), a handsome Greek youth who, according to Ovid, rejected the desperate advances of the nymph Echo. This caused Narcissus to fall in love with his own reflection in a pool of water.

In addition, let me give you the modern definitions of narcissism so that we can compare them to what the Bible says about suchnarcissism in the Bible individuals.

Narcissism:

  1. excessive interest in or admiration of oneself and one’s physical appearance
  2. selfishness, involving a sense of entitlement, a lack of empathy, and a need for admiration, as characterizing a personality type.
  3. self-centeredness arising from failure to distinguish the self from external objects, either in very young babies or as a feature of mental disorder.

In comparison, let us look at the definition of narcissism in the Bible in 2 Timothy 3: 2-5:

For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!

Yikes! And yet here the traits of narcissism in the Bible are clearly delineated. The Bible is not naïve when it comes to human nature. For those of us who have witnessed narcissism close up, this list does a very good job of describing a narcissist. But in all honesty, the next verses really break my heart and convict me as well. 2 Titus 3:

For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

I tend to be gullible by nature. For many years, it never occurred to me that people could be and often were quite wicked. Not until I saw the wickedness in my own heart did I begin to discern the evil in others. Like the gullible women in Titus, I blamed myself for my ex-husband’s abuse and studied the Bible, searching out how to be a good wife. Yet I could not face the real truth. I, too, became a bit narcissistic and worried about what a divorce might look like. As the Lord began to set me free from my own pride and fear, I began to tell the truth to myself about my husband.

The Old Testament gets in on the action, too. Proverbs 6: 16-19 says:

These six things the LORD hates,
Yes, seven are an abomination to Him:

A proud look,
A lying tongue,
Hands that shed innocent blood,

A heart that devises wicked plans,
Feet that are swift in running to evil,

A false witness who speaks lies,
And one who sows discord among brethren.

I can’t help but notice that the first one listed is pride, the hallmark of the narcissist. In both lists from the Old and New Testament, the lack of empathy is striking. It takes a lack of love at a deep level to treat others in these ways. The best description of the Ten Commandments that I have heard is as instructions on having community. Narcissism is the polar opposite of community.

I suppose it all comes down to having a conscience. Many of us have a false conscience. This means that we are far more afraid of Narcissism in the Biblegetting caught or being perceived as being a bad person than we are of actually doing evil or being a bad person. But a true conscience is grounded in love and empathy. A true conscience understands that other people can hurt as much as we do. Other people can be as devastated by cruelty or indifference as we are.

These descriptions of narcissism in the Bible speak to predatory behaviors. And narcissists need victims to feed on. The genuine love that the victims of narcissists express is the very food that a narcissist needs to survive. I suppose I find it ironic that our culture is so fascinated by vampires. Vampires have infiltrated our society already.

I will leave you with this tidbit from Proverbs 14:16:

A wise man fears and departs from evil,
But a fool rages and is self-confident.

Proverbs says a lot about fools, much of it pertinent to narcissists, but this one seems especially apt. If the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, then self-confidence in its worst form, that of being convinced of our own rectitude is dangerous. Praise God for His grace that keeps us mindful our frailty as well as the gift of repentance.

 

Narcissists in the Bible: God’s Preemptive Strikes

 

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38 Comments

  • Jen

    Absolutely incredible post about how the Bible addresses Narcissistic behavior. Incredibly informative!

    • Anonymous

      Thanks! will follow you I was married twice. And unfortunately they both were a narcissistic.

    • Pj

      Amen sister. Narcissism gets both the narcissist and their victims in big trouble. God is very clear about staying away from evil and pride. We as women fall to such prey like Eve but sometimes the very men we trust are the ones who let us down. God never lets us down. Let’s keep our eyes on Him!

  • Hope found in M.E.

    Agreed. Incredibly informative. Many, many folk would benefit from reading this. Thank you for the detail & insight. I shall be pinning this!

    • Anonymous

      Thanks so much for this information, I am married to one… very difficult, I too go thru guilt of giving up. I have lost myself and almost lost my daughters in this relationship…8 years constant head trip. Praying every day and nite for my husband only for him to keep coming back apologizing and doing same thing all over again.

      • Anonymous

        I left after 25 years

  • Myra

    The Bible reference is in 2 Timothy 3

    • Dohtuma Solomon

      Thanks so much I’ll like to know more about this post

  • Anonymous

    Great article.
    Its not 2 Titus. It is 2 Timothy.

    • Regina

      Hi. Thank you for your article and sharing a bit of your story.

  • Lorena

    What if the narcissistic person is one of your parents???

    • Alice Mills

      There are some really good books on dealing with narcissistic parents. I would read up on it if I were you. Having a narcissistic parent is extremely painful and damaging.

      • dohtumasolomon

        I’m glad for this topic and I will start by liking this Post i am currently married man and living with a good example of a narcissist wife who was pregnant with someone else one month old before I met her and I took care of her and the baby till birth and I finally got married to her and paid her bride price.i am17 years with her in marriage with 7other kids making a total of 8children , currently we have a great conflict and the child of wedlock over heard us talking about who’s her biological father? and her mother has refused to tell her who is really her biological father and the problem here is the child is on my neck and the mother that we must tell her who is the biological father.else she is ready to die if the truth is not revealed to her.what can I do?I don’t know if my wife doesn’t know the true bilogical father?

      • Tracy Pratt

        My mother is the narcissist that has damaged my very soul since I was very young.
        I am also the middle kid, her first daughter. I look the most like my dad, who eventually cheated on her during my teen years.
        Could the deck be more stacked against me?
        Without God, I would have committed suicide decades ago.
        I am nearing 60 now, and continue to learn and heal as the narcissist is examined and exposed.
        Pray for the victims of this mental disease.

    • Anonymous

      I enjoyed the artical my ex had this problem he was doing harmful things on his job and to me I couldn’t take it he said what he do he will not get caught. He is 59 will he ever stop this behavior. I had to call his job to tell them to protect other.

  • Stacy N

    Hi Alice. Thank you for all you do. How can I email you? It is because of you that I have been set free from 21 years of abuse by a narcissist. I want to share my story with you. ❤️ It’s going to be the battle of my life but your insight and wisdom is helping me through this journey.

    • Irma

      Hi Alice, wow!!! Wow. I don’t know how I ended up at your site here. I am just learning about narcissism, gaslighting, and my abusive manipulative marriage where it was always my fault. Just reading your post. Been in prayers when I came across your post. Eye opening! Can I email you?

      • Miriam Maldonado

        God equally created man and woman unfortunately Narcissistics abuse women becoming little gods like, their grandiosity is unacceptable since includes physical abuse.
        My best wishes for women that allow these monsters abuse them and their children as well.

    • Andie

      Hello, I didn’t know why I woke out of my sleep at 3:30 AM, but I am so grateful that the Spirit of the Lord stumbled me upon this article. I am seven months separated from my narcissist husband. I am running for my life! Thank you

    • Tracie

      I am im this situation now.. I don’t know weather to leave or not..he has left me around 10 times and comes back. Makes everything my fault.

  • Anonymous

    wow this is awesome.i cant wait to share this .as i and a few close friend experience this aweful Narsscist life with our spouses.and to be able to share whats written in the Bible is so true.it make great sence to see that.but i am one that will call mine out.he is older and knows i will not play his game.after 25 yrs.of this he is getting to the point he can get over on me.i havent given up on our marriage.cause deep down i know he is good.was never shown the love he deserved .so as he is aging and by me not giving up.things are turning around.God Bless you for this article.and i pray for all to never give up on anyone.For my God says to love as we want to be loved back.thanks again .i pray for all.

  • Anonymous

    Do Narcissist in the Bible have flying monkeys that help him ruin his victims reputation

    • Hillary

      Wow. Thank you for these words. It was meant for me to read this and I sincerely thank you.

  • Sarah

    Thank you so so much for this. This is bringing so much healing to my life. Bless you.

    • Mantwa Matlabe

      Since I read abt narcissists, I am tdy jwale,I need ro let go,and move on with my life

  • Anonymous

    Where is the rest of the article?

    • Linda

      I was also wondering where the rest of the article was?

      • Neysa

        My father is an emotionally unavailable person. And he’s a hypocrite and a narcissist and has abused & harassed me in every way possible. He practiced incestuous activities with me when I was a kid & had no clue about the world or myself as a human whatsoever. My mother on the other hand is an emotionally unstable person. Both of them were and still are neglectful to me and my siblings and have deprived us from our basic child needs and never had our backs in any situation even when their own family members attacked our self esteem and appearances and compared with others and to top it off, they see absolutely no fault in themselves whatsoever & blame us if we take a stand for ourselves. I even wanted to commit suicide when I was just 13 years. I was tired of it all. I went through depression 3 times because of them. They even made me question my worth & question Jesus or God. But never once saw a fault in their actions nor took accountability or admitted they were at fault. I’m not even looking for an apology but just want them to realize how they have affected my life and the way they hurt me. I want to forgive my father however I just can’t bring myself to. I can’t accept all the pain & suffering he put me through. I’m emotionally & mentally fragile because of him. But God hasn’t left me, I have the gift of self reflection & awareness & I value my relationship with my loved ones who are n have helped me fight through my dark times. I grieve as I never got to have a childhood like any other child and I had to grow fast & always be on guard so that I don’t get hurt my others the way my parents have hurt me. I’m troubled because I can’t accept what he’s done to me & he doesn’t even care about it. I’m struggling to let go of & forgive him or to make peace with his past actions n words spoken. I was wondering if I could get some guidance or any advice that would be of help to me. For some reason I’m afraid that if I don’t forgive him or my mother, God won’t forgive me either. I avoid my parents or have any conversation with them and keep myself isolated to protect my inner peace and emotional and mental well being. But I’m not sure how God sees me considering I don’t exactly follow or agree with the commandment about honoring my parents. I mean, how could I honor & respect or obey my abusers. It would only bring more pain & chaos in my life. And I don’t want that. Therefore I ask for some guidance on this matter. Thank you.

        • Alice Mills

          Forgiveness is not something you need to accomplish in any set amount of time. Instead of trying to forgive, I suggest filing an official complaint to your Father in heaven. Ask him to carry all the sins of your parents and invite him to help you live free of wrath or the desire for revenge. Ask him to free you and start participating in that healing process. Forgiveness isn’t what we always think it is. Poemachronicles.com/wrath might have some answers.

  • filorossoArt

    Gentile Poema, quando leggiamo le traduzioni dall’inglese all’italiano non sappiamo mai se siamo in presenza di un maschio o una femmina. Il neutro, vostra prerogativa linguistica, alla fine vi porta su strade intellettuali sbagliate e confusione sui ruoli sessuali

    Ho letto attentamente il sunto che assomiglia più ad un sermone invece di un concetto filosofico o psicologico sull’argomento Narciso. Vediamolo:
    Il “Complesso di Narciso” che Freud ha voluto coniugare nel “Narcisismo”, lo scienziato ha commesso un errore imperdonabile culturale ed è quello di avere inquinato un Mito greco di tutta altra natura di quella descritta dal medico. Innanzitutto bisogna conoscere il Mito. Fin dal principio notiamo l’errore di Freud nell’utilizzo improprio della Tragedia. (poi possiamo perdonarlo per una questione di accomodamento scientifico e non a caso la psicologia no è una scienza , ma materia di studio).
    Le versioni sulla Tragedia di Narciso sono due, la più accreditata è quella che narra di un Sovrano e la sua Regina i quali avevano un “figlio maschio” futuro erede al trono. La rivalità politica nel regno portò l’usurpatore ad uccidere i due sovrani. Il bambino fu portato fuori dalle mura della città di nascosto in quanto l’usurpatore doveva ucciderlo per non avere un futuro re legittimo al quale rendere conto del sacrilegio avvenuto e restituirgli il trono.
    Il bambino fu nascosto astutamente dentro un Tempio (collegio femminile) e non fu ritrovato. Il bambino crebbe tra le fanciulle come una fanciulla. Edipo crebbe fanciulla e in età d’amore, un giorno passeggiando in un bosco, accaldato volle rinfrescarsi ad una fonte e affacciatosi allo “specchio” d’acqua vide nell’acqua un volto bellissimo di un ragazzo. Narciso femmina convinto di essere davanti ad una magia, si innamorò perdutamente del bel ragazzo che viveva dentro la fonte. Ecc ecc.
    Quindi Freud, avendo interpretato a suo modo La Tragedia in Mito, fece un errore grandissimo utilizzando quel Mito per spiegare un comportamento umano maschile tendente ad un disturbo mentale dove l’essere ama se stesso in modo viscerale più di ogni altra persona al mondo. Voglio ricordarle che Freud era ebreo, Domanda: come mai non utilizzò i miti ebraici per studiare la Psicologia greca?
    Una risposta viene dalla Università di medicina di quegli anni dove tutti gli esami si sostenevano in lingua greca. Poi, va considerato che la parola Psiche è greca come tutto l’apparato che questa mitologia dentro spiega sul comportamento dell’anima umana e i divini. Ma Freud si era posto il compito politico di distruggere il concetto metafisico di “Anima” per sostituirlo con la “Psiche”. Nella Bibbia la parola Anima non esiste. Esiste invece la “Fenec” che è nella gola, la dove passa il nutrimento per il corpo e l’aria per il respiro ( approvvigionamento di ossigeno e idrogeno). “L’interpretazione dei sogni” n.1 e n.2 di Freud, è un esame di lavorio per distruggere il dialogo tra uomo e regno delle anime che nel popolo d’Israele avveniva nei sogni dove gli angeli dettavano i loro ordini divini (comandamenti). Per Freud, il nuovo dirigente ebreo (Leader) non doveva considerare mai più l’Anima quindi solo Corpo. Uccidere non era più un reato alle anime ma solo corpo come fossero tutti bestie. I nuovi ebrei leader partirono alla volta della conquista europea e russa usando la violenza efferata e l’arte divenne Corpo Astratto.

    Da qui nasce il Corpo Medico, il Corpo Militare, il Corpo della Magistratura, il Corpo della Finanza, il Corpo Celeste e via cosi.
    Tornando al Mito di Narciso, durante i dialoghi, Eco, una ninfa che passava di li, vedendo Narciso femmina non corrisposto da Narciso maschio nello stagno, volle divertirsi prestando la propria voce al maschile, e quindi quando Narciso femmina diceva “Mi Ami?” Eco corrispondeva la stessa frase “Mi Ami?” e divertiva prendere in giro Narciso femminile vederla struggersi d’amore ridendo di nascosto. Poi, col passare dei giorni, Eco (che poteva solo pronunciare le ultime parole di una frase) s’innamorò anche lei perdutamente di Narciso femmina saperlo “confuso” in amore. Il mito prosegue con un finale cosmico e tragico dove gli Dei vollero per compassione portarlo a lieto fine (costellazione). Quindi la Tragedia di Narciso, in psicologia è più vicina alla rappresentazione delle tragedie Gay e Lesbo dove per un gioco di riflessi a specchio della psiche, il ruolo maschile e femminile fuse in un unica anima, danno origini ai disturbi di personalità confusa a tutti gli LGBT.
    L’ermafroditismo invece rientra nel “Mito” greco, mentre il Narcisismo rientra nella “Tragedia” greca. Mito e Tragedia sono due concetti metafisici di natura divina ma non pertinenti tra loro. La Tragedia risolta diventa infine MITO dopo, a tragedia avvenuta e quindi perdonata e accolta dagli dei mossi da compassione.
    Quando invece il tuo articolo richiama la mitologia ebraica (che Mito non è), se riletta bene il versetto poetico del profeta Timoteo è pertinente alla Legge che l’uomo deve sottostare per vivere nella grazia divina ebraica.
    Concludendo: il Narcisismo di Freud è un concetto mitologico stravolto in abuso culturale in quanto il Narcisismo di cui parla Freud è: ‘amore dell’ ”io” per il “Super io” e viceversa scatenano i due la confusione metafisica (e quindi psicologica) tra “Dio ed Io” confusi nella medesima persona scatenando la Superbia effimera.(la Star). Ed ecco Narciso premiato nel firmamento di stelle come super Star.

  • dave

    What do you do when you discover that YOU are the narcissist !?

  • Anonymous

    I left a Narcissist husband after 13 years! I knew something was not not right he was deceitful, about finances, his family, friends, loans, bank accounts, and his constant bullying with his manipulative ways almost destroyed me. My faith with our lord saved me. I have been divorced now over a year and I am happy, joyful and at peace. I am blessed with a wonderful support of friends and my daily devotional to God has saved me! You will never change evil. If you have a marriage that is about hate and judgement it is not from God! Get out and live in peace, joy and love.

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