abuse
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The Four Expressions of Intimate Terrorism
The first time I heard the term intimate terrorism, I went into a moment of shock. The words hit my body like a blow. While I have lived free of abuse for eighteen years, those words, told to me a mere two weeks ago, settled into my body like a missing organ. Terrorism is a loaded term these days. We use it to describe both heinous acts of violence as well as those who hold opposing political positions. My husband doesn’t like the term, in part because for him, the word terrorism summons up images of bombs strapped to children, mass shootings, and 9/11. I reminded him of the many…
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Gaslighting 101: Eight Signs You’re a Victim
Gaslighting was a way of life for me while I was married to my narcissistic ex-husband. I just didn’t know it. Later, as I became aware of the various techniques of gaslighting, I realized that I had been a gullible victim of this technique. Perhaps I shouldn’t say gullible. The truth is that many victims of narcissistic abuse don’t discern what is happening because their own hearts are not evil. People have a tendency to perceive reality through the lens of their own motivations. If their motivations are pure, it rarely occurs them that others have wicked intent. I frequently get emails from victims of narcissistic abuse. Often, I try…
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How Abuse Damages Your Faith
The damages of abuse are well-documented and include PTSD, mood disorders, physical illnesses, and a host of relational difficulties. Less discussed are the damages an abusive relationship can inflict on a victim’s relationship with God. Often a good deal of spiritual abuse accompanies any other type of mistreatment and can really hamper a person’s belief in and relationship with God. Because our relationship with God serves as a basis for both deliverance from the abuser as well as healing from abuse, the enemy often targets a victim’s faith. For most of us, our experiential belief trumps the intellectual assent of our religious beliefs. What this means is that our experiences…
