Appeasement

  • fawns
    abuse,  Appeasement,  Codependent,  Trauma Responses

    What is Fawning and How to Stop

    When I first heard the term fawning, described as a trauma response, it hit me pretty hard. An empathetic and desperately self-conscious kid, I eventually grew into an empathetic and self-conscious adult. Marrying a narcissist did nothing to help, and I soon learned to become a people pleaser as a survival tactic. And for a long time after I escaped from my abuser, I didn’t question it. It had become second nature. I tolerated uncomfortable and even abusive relationships in my work and personal life, often falling prey to what I call quasi-narcissists. These people in our lives are self-centered but occasionally have the grace to feel guilty about it.…

  • appeasement
    Appeasement,  Idols

    The Religion of Appeasement: God as Idol

    Generally, when we seek to appease someone, we turn them into an idol. One of the misconceptions we have about idols is the assumption that we love our idols. And we love some of them, I’m sure. The love of money is a common one. But the other common denominator in idolatry is fear. Proverbs says Appease an angry man and you will do it again. How common is it for us to get caught up in a cycle of appeasement? I think it starts in childhood in many families. If the child transgresses (a not uncommon occurrence) and parents get angry, that child quickly learns how to turn the…