• Boundaries - Boundary Lines - family - relationship - self worth

    Six Toxic Responses to Boundaries

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    Toxic people dislike boundaries the way my cats hate a closed door. They figure it is their right to come and go as they please. The ripped up carpet and scratches on my door attest to their utter determination to have their way. The cats, that is. Toxic people usually damage far more than just a rug and a couple of doors. I suppose learning how to erect healthy boundaries always includes a learning curve. I, for one, did not anticipate the ruthlessness and perseverance with which toxic people attempt to discredit, tear down, and generally disrespect boundaries. But I…

  • people pleaser
    Abundant Life - emotional health - Emptiness - Fear - Self Awareness - self worth - Self-Acceptance - True self

    The Five Wounds of a People Pleaser

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    I think most of us struggle with being a people pleaser at some point. Our development as adults requires that we let go of the fear of man as the Bible calls it. We first individuate from our parents, a task that takes decades. After that, we must carve out our identities, choosing what we will and will not stand for as a person. Often this process means eliminating friends along the way, determining which relationships are toxic and which are life-giving. C.S. Lewis famously said that man’s strongest drive was to belong to a group. In essence, humans are…

  • projection
    self worth - self-improvement - True self - truth

    Psychological Projection: 4 Examples of How We All Do It

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    Projection: 1) A self-defense mechanism characterized by a person unconsciously attributing their own issues onto someone or something else as a form of delusion and denial. Projection is actually found in the Bible, though not exactly with that word which finds its roots in modern psychology. In Matthew 7:3-6, Jesus is discussing projection when He says: And why do you see the splinter in your brother’s eye, but don’t consider the log that is in your own eye? 4. Or how will you say to your brother, Let me pull out the splinter out of your eye; and, behold, a log is in your own eye? 5. You…