emotional health

  • people pleaser
    Abundant Life,  emotional health,  Emptiness,  Fear,  Self Awareness,  self worth,  Self-Acceptance,  True self

    The Five Wounds of a People Pleaser

    I think most of us struggle with being a people pleaser at some point. Our development as adults requires that we let go of the fear of man as the Bible calls it. We first individuate from our parents, a task that takes decades. After that, we must carve out our identities, choosing what we will and will not stand for as a person. Often this process means eliminating friends along the way, determining which relationships are toxic and which are life-giving. C.S. Lewis famously said that man’s strongest drive was to belong to a group. In essence, humans are herd animals. And like sheep, each of us has gone…

  • anniversary trauma
    Christmas,  emotional health,  emotions,  healing,  Healthy Discipline,  Trauma

    Anniversary Trauma: 5 Strategies to Overcome It

    Five Ways to Overcome Anniversary Trauma It’s funny how anniversary trauma sneaks up on a person. November 30 marked the one year anniversary of the earthquake in Eagle River, Alaska. I am currently recovering from a car accident, so while on the table with my massage therapist, I found myself extremely tense. There is a difference between muscle spasms due to injury and muscles that are clenched from tension. I had plenty of the first, but this time I had tension all over my body. I knew that my lower back had been particularly painful, but this day, the therapist couldn’t go anywhere near it. All of a sudden, it…

  • denial
    denial,  emotional health,  False Refuges

    Denial: Four Ways It Destroys You and Your Family

    Firstly, let me say that I am a past master of denial. One cannot stay in an abusive marriage for as long as I did and not have expertise in the exercise of denial. But often, we misunderstand what exactly is being denied when we talk about this subject. Often, it isn’t the situation that we are unable to face, but our feelings about the situation. I could admit that my husband was abusive. What I couldn’t admit to was the fear, agony, anger, and helplessness I felt within an abusive marriage. And so I convinced myself I was just making the best of a bad situation. When we consider…