Magical Thinking versus a Firm Faith

Magical thinking is a trap into which many fall, particularly when difficult circumstances hit. When I was married to my first husband, a typical narcissistic abuser, I regularly fooled myself into thinking that eventually he would mature out of that stage and morph into a responsible, loving adult. Because of this magical thinking, I dedicated much prayer towards this end, and I closed myself off from what was real. In the process, I endangered both my children and myself.

And magical thinking is not merely applied to relational desires. I think money is an area in which I know I tend to use magical thinking rather than taking responsibility. Weight loss and careers, really anything that comes under the heading of what we long for is fair game for magical thinking. Understanding, then the difference between this delusional thinking versus having a faith that will bring us to the realization of our dreams is crucial.

It is what it is and not something else.

One of the hallmarks of magical thinking is a lack of logic. To make a connection between a cause and effect without understanding the actual causation is to make a dangerous assumption. In my case, no evidence could lead me to believe that my ex would morph into a responsible, caring husband and father. In fact, his mental health only steadily deteriorated. But I genuinely believed that if I were a good enough girl and prayed hard enough, God would change him.

My faith was in my prayers and behavior and in some mystical moment in which he would see how terribly he treated us. This meant my faith was on shaky ground. Narcissistic Personality Disorder, according to psychologists, has never been cured. I don’t say it is incurable, merely that no one has yet been cured. Of course, we all have some narcissistic tendencies, but a personality disorder and a tendency are quite different. But then, my magical thinking prevented me from really examining the facts. It also kept me from hearing God tell me to leave.

Magical thinking denies personal responsibility; faith requires it.

I understand the lure of fantasy. Denial feels so much better in the short run. Weight loss is a touchy subject for most people. I have listened to many men and women give me reason after reason why they are overweight. I get it. I have my list of excuses as well. Fad diets and pills, even surgery, have their place in our economy because choosing to be healthy can be hard. And it is easier to imagine that one is fit and at a healthy weight than it is to get there.

And yet, magical thinking has never cured anyone of diabetes. Faith is taking those food cravings and the emotional bondage so often attached to our eating habits to the Lord. It is allowing Him to change us from the inside out. Faith goes to a counselor and gets to the bottom of a food addiction or compulsion. Faith admits to an eating disorder. Faith takes out the scale and stands on it to figure out where one is really at. Faith seeks truth rather than avoids it.

Magical thinking is passive, but faith requires action.

Over the years, many people have told me that God has a great ministry planned for them. He has called them to some tremendous evangelistic mission or to some outpost in a dark place somewhere in the third world. Decades later, they still have not fulfilled that great destiny. I am not placing myself in a position of judgment. Sometimes God makes us wait a long time even. But if we passively wait for a ministry to drop into our laps, we deceive ourselves.

Faith actively pursues destiny. Being faithful is showing up daily and asking what God has called you to do that day, knowing that obedience will reap an actual harvest. We must ask ourselves every day what we are doing to move toward our dreams. Magical thinking leaps from point A to Z. Faith understands the whole alphabet.

Magical thinking lacks power, but faith is empowering.

Objects require an outside force to move them. Magical thinking is objectifying because we are caught in an endless cycle of waiting for others to act. Once all of the stars finally align, then what we have been longing for will come to pass. Playing the lottery requires some magical thinking. Once those numbers line up, we will be rich! It is just a matter of time! Once our mates get their act together, our boss quits being a jerk, and our kids start acting right, we will have what we always wanted.

But faith is more practical. I remember reading Catherine Marshall’s account of her lengthy illness. The Lord told her if she wanted to get better, she needed to move around. She couldn’t stand for a long time, so she sat at her table and cleaned it. That was the beginning of her recovery. Sometimes Jesus may say to us get up and walk. Other times, He may tell us to do one little thing at a time. Either way, when we move in faith, we move in power. We are able because He enables us to do the things to which He calls us daily. Our actions come from a place of love, power, and a sound mind rather than being reliant on whether others do what we want.

I think of the passage in Mark 2:5 where he healed a paralyzed man whose friends had lowered him through the roof. My pastor recently pointed out that we don’t know if the paralyzed man even wanted to be lowered before Jesus. But the passage says that Jesus saw their faith. He saw they had faith enough to act on it by taking extreme measures to lower their friend before Jesus. Their faith had a practical element that magical thinking does not. We act on faith, not rev up the faith machine in our heads.

Last, fantasy sometimes masquerades as faith.

I find this a complex subject to write about, partly because I have fooled myself repeatedly. I believe in miracles. I have experienced them firsthand. But magical thinking does not produce them. It is faith that brings about the kingdom of God. The key to discerning the difference is humility, I believe. Are we willing to be guided by the loving but firm hand of the Lord? My submission to Him always requires giving up some aspect of magical thinking.

I have witnessed many earnest Christians led astray by the idea that if they believe wildly, blindly, for what they want, God will give it to them. As a person who believes prayer is mighty, I find the difference subtle yet telling. When I am focused on my desire, my thinking goes astray. Miracles follow when I am focused on God’s will at all costs. Take your magical thinking captive, lay your desires on the altar, and listen for His voice. Your faith will make you well.

I owe such a debt to the authors below. I am so grateful for their work.

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Three Ways Your Faith Can Become Your Sight

Intimacy with God: 4 Touchstones