• conflict
    Communication,  Conflict,  reconcile,  relationship

    Conflict: Four Common Misconceptions

    I remember attending a seminar about conflict about a dozen years ago. The speaker made the point that conflict in and of itself isn’t good or bad. It is merely an event that must be dealt with. I don’t know if I fully agree with that. Conflict feels pretty awful much of the time, at least to an empathetic person like me who wants everyone to hold hands and sing Kum bah Yah. Another speaker on the same topic held up a dollar bill in the middle of the room. He made the point that each side of the room saw a totally different side of the same thing. Neither…

  • denial
    denial,  emotional health,  False Refuges

    Denial: Four Ways It Destroys You and Your Family

    Firstly, let me say that I am a past master of denial. One cannot stay in an abusive marriage for as long as I did and not have expertise in the exercise of denial. But often, we misunderstand what exactly is being denied when we talk about this subject. Often, it isn’t the situation that we are unable to face, but our feelings about the situation. I could admit that my husband was abusive. What I couldn’t admit to was the fear, agony, anger, and helplessness I felt within an abusive marriage. And so I convinced myself I was just making the best of a bad situation. When we consider…

  • projection
    self worth,  self-improvement,  True self,  truth

    Psychological Projection: 4 Examples of How We All Do It

    Projection: 1) A self-defense mechanism characterized by a person unconsciously attributing their own issues onto someone or something else as a form of delusion and denial. Projection is actually found in the Bible, though not exactly with that word which finds its roots in modern psychology. In Matthew 7:3-6, Jesus is discussing projection when He says: And why do you see the splinter in your brother’s eye, but don’t consider the log that is in your own eye? 4. Or how will you say to your brother, Let me pull out the splinter out of your eye; and, behold, a log is in your own eye? 5. You hypocrite first cast out the log out of your own…