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What is Fawning and How to Stop
When I first heard the term fawning, described as a trauma response, it hit me pretty hard. An empathetic and desperately self-conscious kid, I eventually grew into an empathetic and self-conscious adult. Marrying a narcissist did nothing to help, and I soon learned to become a people pleaser as a survival tactic. And for a long time after I escaped from my abuser, I didn’t question it. It had become second nature. I tolerated uncomfortable and even abusive relationships in my work and personal life, often falling prey to what I call quasi-narcissists. These people in our lives are self-centered but occasionally have the grace to feel guilty about it.…
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The Father of Every Narcissist
The father of every narcissist is, of course, the devil. He provides a perfect pattern card of narcissistic behavior, beginning with his fall from heaven. Just a precursory look at his words and behavior read like the DSM’s definition of narcissism. I have often had readers protest my Biblical analysis of narcissistic personality disorder. Their objection comes from the idea that NPD is a psychological term and, therefore, not Biblically valid. But depression is another clinical term often applied to Elijah, Jeremiah, and Jonah. It is a universal experience that afflicts most humans, if not all, at one time or another. So my response to the objection is that nothing…
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When to Go No Contact: A Biblical View
One of the most misunderstood concepts in abuse recovery is the concept of going no contact. As Christians in particular, this decision is often accompanied by a lot of guilt or fear. We reason to ourselves that we must love everyone, as indeed, Christ loved us. But even the Bible advises going no contact in some cases. I would even argue that cutting someone out of one’s life is sometimes the most Biblical choice one can make. But as always, we need real discernment when making such a drastic choice. Complicating our decision is the concept that God forgives us as we forgive others. For many, the concept of forgiveness…
Healing Through Art & Words
