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Toxic Forgiveness: A Harmful Imitation
Toxic forgiveness is akin to toxic positivity; underneath, it is a lie. To forgive a grievous wrong is not unlike the picture of grief I hold in my heart of a giant ball of gnarled string, each one a memory that must be looked at and let go. Letting go of the past is not a one-time task. Instead, it is a day-by-day release as one steps into the present fully. Of course, the words of Matthew 6:12 asking God to forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass us hang over those of us who have suffered significant trauma at the hands of others. I know countless women…
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Inviting Jesus into our Horror
The Horror of Abuse I recently discovered an extremely healing prayer method, touching areas I didn’t know existed and areas I thought could not be made well. It is enormously simple, consisting of just one question. I only have to ask, “Jesus, what door of my heart are you knocking on?” And, of course, he is knocking at the door of my heart. Revelation 3:20 says: Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, then I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with me. WEB Now that I know to ask that question, I ask…
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What is Fawning and How to Stop
When I first heard the term fawning, described as a trauma response, it hit me pretty hard. An empathetic and desperately self-conscious kid, I eventually grew into an empathetic and self-conscious adult. Marrying a narcissist did nothing to help, and I soon learned to become a people pleaser as a survival tactic. And for a long time after I escaped from my abuser, I didn’t question it. It had become second nature. I tolerated uncomfortable and even abusive relationships in my work and personal life, often falling prey to what I call quasi-narcissists. These people in our lives are self-centered but occasionally have the grace to feel guilty about it.…
Healing Through Art & Words
