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Financial Abuse and the Narcissist: 15 Tell Tale Signs
I didn’t know that financial abuse existed for the first several years of my marriage. I knew, of course, that the absolute hold that my ex had over our money wasn’t right. Not until I confronted a poster about domestic violence in a public restroom in Big Bear, CA, did I realize that a name, financial abuse, existed for my agony and bondage. No one really discusses the long term effects of narcissistic financial abuse. Just when we think we are recovered, another little well of pain opens up for us to explore and drain. For me, money is one of those deeper wells. After my divorce, I found myself…
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Shame Free: Taking off the Invisibility Cloak
Anyone who spends a good amount of time longing for invisibility has a struggle with shame and/or anxiety on their hands. I should know. I still occasionally wish that I could slip through life unnoticed. Invisibility can seem so safe, especially for a survivor of abuse. Whenever conflict rears its ugly head, my mind and body still kick into flight mode. Some people are fighters and launch themselves into the fray. Others, like myself, turn to invisibility to minimize the attention of those around us. We freeze like the bunny wondering if the wolf has caught its scent. I want to look at the emotional roots of this phenomenon because…
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From Trauma Bond to Freedom: Our Family’s Journey
During a conversation about the trauma bond with my oldest, she challenged me to write a post that dealt honestly with the difficult journey my four daughters and I took from years of abuse to a healthy and loving blended family unit. The original trauma bond belonged to me and my ex-husband. For reference, a trauma bond is a seemingly iron-clad tie between an abuser and his or her victim. The result of the cycles of abuse that revolve around reward and punishment, the trauma bond has the same psychological effect as a trap has on the leg of a wild animal. Lured by the promise of something good, we…
Healing Through Art & Words
