• language
    abuse,  abuser,  emotional health,  language

    Language: 5 Types of Abuse and How to End It

    At first, I was going to write about the various layers of healthy boundaries we have, beginning with our skin and ending with our renewed spirit. But I got stuck at language. Most of our boundaries are either created or destroyed by language. We forget that language is first and foremost a creator of reality. It is through language that we discover and articulate our identities. Language, too, is the creator and sustainer of relationships, creating bridges of understanding between people. Redemptively speaking, how we speak and the words we use, even the tones we employ while we communicate, are in their best sense, intended to create community. The end…

  • abuse,  abuser,  Fear,  lies,  Pharisee,  reconcile,  relationship,  relationship to God,  spiritual

    The Spiritual Abuser: The Five Lies They Tell

    At thirteen years old, in eighth grade, I became the victim of a spiritual abuser. I just didn’t realize it for years. I attended confirmation classes in my church and sang in the choir, rang bells in the handbell choir, and participated in the youth group.  Ardent for the Lord, I led my youth group in a twenty-four-hour prayer vigil. But I was also vulnerable and awkward.  Too tall too fast and prone to saying the wrong thing, I carried a full contingent of insecurities.  So when my mother’s prayer partner and friend, (I will call her Gladys) cornered me one day after I had babysat her children for an…