• people pleaser
    Abundant Life,  emotional health,  Emptiness,  Fear,  Self Awareness,  self worth,  Self-Acceptance,  True self

    The Five Wounds of a People Pleaser

    I think most of us struggle with being a people pleaser at some point. Our development as adults requires that we let go of the fear of man as the Bible calls it. We first individuate from our parents, a task that takes decades. After that, we must carve out our identities, choosing what we will and will not stand for as a person. Often this process means eliminating friends along the way, determining which relationships are toxic and which are life-giving. C.S. Lewis famously said that man’s strongest drive was to belong to a group. In essence, humans are herd animals. And like sheep, each of us has gone…

  • attachment
    Attachment style,  Bonding,  Relationship with God

    Setting God Free: How Attachment Style Affects Faith

    I bear witness to many people struggling to gain a toehold in their relationship with God. For some, God is like an unreachable guru on top of a distant mountain. If you find Him, He only speaks in riddles. For others, His face resembles the stern idols on Easter Island. Judgment is in the forecast, and soon. For still others, God is capricious, changing His mind about what good things He will or will not allow them to have in their lives. Now He loves me. Now He loves me not. The most painful iteration of God, I think, is the silent one. He is the all-seeing, all-knowing monolith who…