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Language: 5 Types of Abuse and How to End It
At first, I was going to write about the various layers of healthy boundaries we have, beginning with our skin and ending with our renewed spirit. But I got stuck at language. Most of our boundaries are either created or destroyed by language. We forget that language is first and foremost a creator of reality. It is through language that we discover and articulate our identities. Language, too, is the creator and sustainer of relationships, creating bridges of understanding between people. Redemptively speaking, how we speak and the words we use, even the tones we employ while we communicate, are in their best sense, intended to create community. The end…
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Boundary Lines: The Truth about Personal Balance
The boundary lines in our lives are often indistinct because we err in one of two ways in calculating what belongs inside them and what does not. Scott Peck, in his classic work, The Road Less Travelled, divides these people into those he calls neurotics and those who have a serious character flaw. (By the way, this is a must-read) The first take the blame for everything while the latter takes the blame for nothing. While some of us fall clearly within one of these two categories, most of us straddle the fence between assuming responsibility for everything and refusing culpability for anything. If we take a close look at…
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Boundaries: Reset and Reinforce Your Broken ‘No’
Some people seem to have the gift of no. Boundaries seem to come easily to them. When asked for favors, money, or permission, they hand out noes with blithe unconcern. Others, like me, feel guilty about denying the requests, even demands of the people in their lives. But if you are naturally compliant, suffered under the rule of authoritarian parents, have undergone abuse, or are simply overly empathetic, then saying no comes at a cost. Strategizing your ‘no’ can help you make and reinforce boundaries that are important to you, whether at home or at work. Before you begin to take back the territory in your life lost to poor…
Healing Through Art & Words
