• Communication,  Validation

    Validation: How to Love Well

    Validation is the little-recognized glue than creates and mends relationships. After all, we live in our own selves all day, every day. Understanding someone else’s journey takes effort, in part because clearing the decks of our own experiences is so challenging. But the rewards of validation are great. Validation builds trust, opens previously clogged channels of communication, and creates relationship between the most unlikely pairs. The primary myth about validation is that by affirming someone else, you are signing off on their beliefs. Validation means selling out your position for the sake of peace and a couple of feel-good moments.  Not true. Affirmation of a person is not ratifying their…

  • Character,  Trustworthy

    Eight Signs You are a Trustworthy Person

    Finding trustworthy people these days can be difficult. I believe this is not because fewer trustworthy people exist than in previous generations, but because many of our relationships are transitory. People move around, switch jobs, and live at a furious pace. Trust takes time to incubate. Trust requires a certain amount of intimacy and transparency. To make matters more difficult, nearly everyone has made the mistake of judging the wrong person trustworthy. Betrayal can hinder our ability or willingness to make the leap. But the fruits of being a person worthy of trust far outweigh the difficulties. If we ourselves can be trusted, then we will draw others whose characters…

  • Contentment,  Desire

    Four Keys to Contentment: This Present Life

    Contentment is a radical choice these days. Our culture is consumer-based which means that the world continually reminds us of what we do not have. We follow wealthy celebrities in part to experience wealth vicariously. We almost always believe we could handle it better than the shallow but beautiful people who live out their private moments in front of a camera. Contentment is not merely radical these days; it is immoral. If we are not constantly striving to be more, have more, and have a greater impact, then we are copping out. The rat race is a moral imperative for many. I see so many couples working so hard to…