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Despair: The Aim of the Abuser
Despair is not often discussed, though it is considered a dangerous psychological condition. Psychology Today describes despair as: … profound and existential hopelessness, helplessness, powerlessness, and pessimism about life and the future. Despair is a deep discouragement and loss of faith about one’s ability to find meaning, fulfillment, and happiness, to create a satisfactory future for oneself. The goal of an abuser is to produce the elements of despair in another person. In speaking with the victims of this abuse and having suffered as one myself, I am always surprised at how difficult it is to admit to the intentionality of emotional abuse. Victims often invent excuses for their…
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How to Protect Your Family’s Honor
The idea of family honor is pretty old-fashioned, and in its older forms, even harmful. Family honor in the past consisted of creating a family mask that presented one face to the world while hiding dysfunctions within. But cultivating a culture of honor, real honor is actually crucial for creating a lasting marriage and familial relationships that are fulfilling. Family honor is not about the face presented to the world. Real honor is how well the members of a family treat each other. Honor is the act of valuing a person over things. When someone honks their horn at you rudely in traffic, or cuts in front of you in…
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Anniversary Trauma: 5 Strategies to Overcome It
Five Ways to Overcome Anniversary Trauma It’s funny how anniversary trauma sneaks up on a person. November 30 marked the one year anniversary of the earthquake in Eagle River, Alaska. I am currently recovering from a car accident, so while on the table with my massage therapist, I found myself extremely tense. There is a difference between muscle spasms due to injury and muscles that are clenched from tension. I had plenty of the first, but this time I had tension all over my body. I knew that my lower back had been particularly painful, but this day, the therapist couldn’t go anywhere near it. All of a sudden, it…
Healing Through Art & Words
