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Five Ways to Contend for Your Recovery from Trauma
Recovery from extended abuse is measured over a lifetime, though often it comes in fits and spurts. Revelations and aha moments come to those who are looking for them. I am often amused by the ‘unpopular opinion’ memes, but tonight I find myself holding one of my very own. More people avoid recovery than seek it. The world is filled with people who do not have the opportunity or means to heal, whether from extreme poverty, isolation, or even a lack of any spiritual or mental health resources. But this is not true of most people with whom I come into regular contact. And I get it. Confronting the…
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Loyalty vs Casting Pearls before Narcissists
A reader recently asked a question about the line between healthy loyalty and codependency. I didn’t have an immediate answer so I took some time to really think about it. I looked up the definition of loyalty and it surprised me a little. The first word listed is devotion. The next words are more familiar; faithfulness, allegiance, support. Those rang truer to me until I began to remember my relationship with my narcissistic ex-husband. A turning point in my heart came when I heard a preacher say We worship what we fear. The words messed with me because I was trying to follow Jesus. I considered myself as worshiping only…
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Shame Free: Taking off the Invisibility Cloak
Anyone who spends a good amount of time longing for invisibility has a struggle with shame and/or anxiety on their hands. I should know. I still occasionally wish that I could slip through life unnoticed. Invisibility can seem so safe, especially for a survivor of abuse. Whenever conflict rears its ugly head, my mind and body still kick into flight mode. Some people are fighters and launch themselves into the fray. Others, like myself, turn to invisibility to minimize the attention of those around us. We freeze like the bunny wondering if the wolf has caught its scent. I want to look at the emotional roots of this phenomenon because…
Healing Through Art & Words
